h a l f b a k e r yGo ahead. Stick a fork in it.
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1. Obtain an old albatross.
2. Feed the albatross lavishly and look after it carefully until it expires of old age (oddly, there is no animal cruelty involved in this idea).
3. Extend the wings fully (into the gliding position) and hold them there with a frame.
4. Immerse the Albatross
into liquid nitrogen.
5. Remove the now rigid albatross from the nitrogen. Tie a line round it.
6. Take it to a large open space and fly it as a kite.
How to shatter an Albatross
http://www.questaco...d_Nitrogen_Show.pdf
The science behind Liquid NO2 [Elhoy, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Plastination
http://www.plastina...sh/plastination.htm
[hippo, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
The problem with albatrosses
http://www.halfbake...Ancient_20Halfbaker
[UnaBubba, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Albatross to be extinct within 25 years.
http://news.bbc.co....2841000/2841325.stm
BBC News story about the danger to albatrosses from fishing lines. [DrBob, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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Annotation:
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5b. For true 008 showmanship, put albatross around child's/cat's neck |
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As I read this idea, I
associated a frozen albatross
with ice - which is quite
heavy - and immediately
thought to fishbone this... I
then came to my senses and
realised that an albatross is
a bird - known for its long
haul flying capability. So
there'll be a pastry wingin'
its way to you. |
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Presumably you could do this to other birds that mostly glide, e.g. vultures and the like. |
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Sick but I like it [+] Although I'd like mine with a model aeroplane motor in it. |
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daft question no 1. is this how freeze drying woiks?
daft question no 2. if the answer to daft question no 1 is No, then won't these dead boids go all floppy again? |
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Vanilla. "Bleedin' albatross flavour." |
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Freeze drying normally works by cooling the item to be dried below zero, then reducing the atmospheric pressure so that the moisture sublimes out (goes directly from solid to vapour phase). But I thought it would be more eco-friendly to let the Albatross dry slowly in the breeze ...... |
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What if someone shoots the albatross? Say, an elderly sailor. |
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Flying it in the rain would be a problem, tending to cause floppiness in the avian aerofoil. Also, the whole albatross/curse aspect might frighten off small children from using it. |
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[brenna]: If he is an elderly sailor, chances are he'll be superstitious - and he won't shoot it cos it's bad luck. |
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Is it bad luck to shoot an Albatross that's already dead ? Besides, the "Ancient Mariner" is only ancient by the time he accosts the wedding guests. He was shirley substantially younger when he made his fateful voyage ? |
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It would only be good for those skilled at kite-flying and even then should have some kind of soft-landing feature (parachute), as freeze-dried stuff tends to be on the brittle side. [see link] |
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Well, that stoppeth one of three. |
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Hm. It won't fit in a glass, will it? |
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Alternatively, the Plastination Albatross Kite. |
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// tends to be on the brittle side // |
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Plastination .... yes, actually I was thinking about some sort of preservative acrylic resin impregnation process. Gliders built on a Balsa wood frame tend to suffer damage on landing; the Albatross Kite would be similarly vulnerable without a parachute soft-landing system. |
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Hehe – now *this* is literal! (+) |
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I'd like to see some Freeze Dried Albatross Fighter Kites |
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(-) on the grounds of imminent extinction of source material. |
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Preserve nature - pickle an albatross. |
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[DrBob], I don't see how keeping an elderly albatross in ease and comfort represents a threat to the wild population. And I never saw this as a big seller ..... I too am in favour of saving the Albatross in the wild. |
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8th, sorry. You misunderstand. I wasn't going to fall into the trap of accusing you of anti-whatever after you had so carefully outlined your plan for providing the albatross with a comfortable old age. I merely meant that there aren't going to be any old albatrosses around for you to implement* your plan with.
* note: original typo on this word was 'impolement' which I leave for others to define, as I can't think about it without giggling insanely. |
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"Any Old Albatrosses" sounds like the title of a surreal 19-th century music hall ditty ........ |
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Bringeth a tear to the eye. |
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My uncle developed a tuna long line fishing line that the
albatross dont take, I think he won an award for it but I'm
not sure how widely used it is |
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A freeze-dried Blue Whale carcass, filled with unrealistic amounts of helium, would definitely make for an an interesting, icey-albatross-proof balloon. |
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sick and twisted in a good way, i like it. |
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