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Ghetto Phone

"HERE ME NOW HERE ME NOW! HERE ME..." *bring* *bring*... *bring* *bring*... -click- "CLARENCE DARLING IT'S MUMMY WUMMY, CAN YOU PICK UP SOME STAIN REMOVER FOR ME ON THE WAY HOME? GERRY'S GONE AND DONE A NUMBER 2 IN YOUR WARDROBE AGAIN. THERE'S A GOOD..." chickibooooooooo.
  (+14, -4)(+14, -4)
(+14, -4)
  [vote for,
against]

We all hate the awful tinny krunk music that teenagers play on mobiles, usually on public transport. This is a given. It might not be so bad but for the overwhelming sense of disdain and confusion that one feels contemplating why someone would want their music bastardised by the under-powered treble-only speakers that the phone achingly plays the tune through.

My solution is to reverse the concept: Rather than putting the music on the phone, put the phone on the music. Release a range of huge, cumbersome ghetto blaster phones. Kids will be too embarrassed to play their mobile music, and the blasters will be too heavy to take around on the bus all the time. Also, super loud music can be considered a crime (public disturbance?), so if in the unlikely event you encountered a persistent yoof hell-bent on sharing his awful hip-hop with everyone on the 41 bus, you'd be well within your rights to tell the little runt to shut the freak up and, fuelled by the music, others would no doubt join your cause.

It just makes perfect sense. Every image of ghetto blasters you have in your mind portends to it.

theleopard, Oct 18 2007

On the phone http://shinymedia.b...enrylolzs3de3_1.jpg
GOOD MORNING STEVEN, DR PHILLIPS HERE. I HAVE JUST RECEIVED YOUR TEST RESULTS AND I'M AFRAID YOU'VE TESTED POSITIVE FOR THRUSH. AND CHLAMYDIA. YOU ALSO HAVE A PIXIE LIVING IN YOUR SCROTU... chickiboooooooo [theleopard, Oct 18 2007, last modified Oct 22 2007]

Larry at the lighthouse on the blower http://www.cartoons...lowres/ada0031l.jpg
[theleopard, Oct 18 2007]

Out with mates http://www.cartoons...lowres/ang0016l.jpg
YOU OUT WITH THEM PESKY !KUNG FELLAS AGAIN ARNOLD? THEY'RE A NASTY BUNCH THEM, CAN'T TRUST 'EM. AND THEY'VE GOT AWFULLY BIG EARS. AH'VE NOT LIKED 'EM SINCE THEY CAME TO OUR COUNTRY, STOLE ALL OUR HUNTER-GATHERER JOBS AND THATCHED THOSE AWFUL WICKER BASKETS. BLOODY MONGRELS THE LOT chickibooooooo... [theleopard, Oct 18 2007]

Cell Phone Guy from Trigger Happy TV http://www.youtube....watch?v=7TSprF1Zpjw
Still has the tinny music, though. [nick_n_uit, Nov 29 2007]


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Annotation:







       I dunno. I remember folks carrying big-ass radios around all over the place. Assuming they do this, then I gotta hear even more of their conversation at even louder volume.   

       But I'm gonna bun it. Kids are stupid, they'll buy anything if it's "cool" and this would give me something to laugh about.   

       How does one get a pixie in ones scrotum?
Noexit, Oct 18 2007
  

       I will bun it too. Trends go in cycles simply because the demand is higher for stuff that nobody else has. Right now everyone is competeing over who has the smallest phone. Eventually someone will get on the bus with a cell phone that has a 4-inch sub woofer and then everyone will be competing over who has the biggest sub woofer by getting cell phones that have 6, 8 and 10 inch speakers.
Jscotty, Oct 18 2007
  

       // How does one get a pixie in ones scrotum? //   

       Only Steven, Dr Phillips and the Pixie will ever really know.
theleopard, Oct 19 2007
  

       Heh! I knew this was one of yours before I finished reading the subtitle.   

       //the overwhelming sense of disdain and confusion that one feels contemplating why someone would want their music bastardised by the under-powered treble-only speakers that the phone achingly plays the tune through//   

       Phew, I though it was just me.   

       A [-] vote for the terrifying thought of this becoming reality, but two [+] votes for making me laugh. So overall, croissant.
jtp, Oct 19 2007
  

       I'd much prefer to spend my journey being deafened by some thumping hip-hop beats than being irritated by one of those pansy-ass mp3 phones. Bring back the ghetto blaster.   

       And roller skates.
wagster, Oct 19 2007
  

       Ghetto balsters are ace. I remember seeing this guy in North London, in an area particularly saturated with weirdos and crazies alike, and this fella was walking up the street dragging some kind of suit case trolley behind him upon which a ghetto blaster was blasting "I've Got The Power" at full pelt. He had his full strut on, and every now and then he would stop, await the chorus line, and kick his leg like Michael Jackson. "I've got the power!" He even went round a shop with it, buying nothing in particular, amidst the gaze of amazed locals.   

       Wouldn't have worked with a mobile. That's the truth.
theleopard, Oct 19 2007
  

       Rant, but beautifully twisted into a completely logical idea.   

       [+] [+] [+]   

       As a side note, I have a PDA phone that I play my MP3's on in my car. When the people in my contacts call I hear their ringtone over the car stereo, to mixed results. I too, have horrible rap ringtones. But only ironically. I don't like that music. And when the music turns from Michael Manring to Tu-Pac it sometimes make my head explode.
evilpenguin, Oct 20 2007
  

       Hadn't seen this before. If you just increase volume and improve sound quality, it would be like two people having a conversation, which would be less annoying anyway, so [+].
nineteenthly, Dec 11 2009
  

       Awesome, its time will come.
pocmloc, Dec 11 2009
  


 

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