h a l f b a k e r y
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I'm envisioning a shop franchise along the lines of Sharper Image or Hammacher-Schlemmer. The half-croissant on the plate and the 'halfbakery' Impact logo would grace the arch above the entry way.
Once inside, patrons could browse through a large assortment of merchandise, including everything else
in this category. The t-shirt and apron would be available, as would the book and a 365-day desk calendar.
Also, the store would stock certain halfbaked items which were baked to be sold there, such as the Gore-Tex™ Mouse, Fake Sleeping Cats, Bog Roll Alarm, and of course, Cream Cheese Rings.
New products would be added as development allowed. Old products would be removed periodically, and would be indicated as such by a small [marked_for_deletion]* sign on the shelf. (*obfuscated to evade the authorities).
Of course there would also be a counter where freshly baked croissants would be served. And you'll never get a penny in your change.
Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee
Destination URL.
E.g., http://www.coffee.com/
Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
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Only if everything is half off. |
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once inside, you can never find your way out. +1 |
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I could sell a pitbull to an three-legged cat - count me in as part of the sales force |
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A pecentage of sales of items can go to the person who
came up with the idea. |
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Satisfaction guaranteed or we give you the missing half back. Uhhh. no. |
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<on purpose title misinterpretation>"Well. I'm sure we can help you, Sir. Here's our popular 110+220+12 volt outlet, and of course the halfbaked, rotation outlet, the cat-safe outlet...what, plugs? Why you'll have to go to the Halfbakery Plug Store across the street."</on purpose title misinterpretation> |
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Wednesdays would, of course, be "Half-Day Closing", a peculiar, rural British (Scottish?) custom of shutting up shop at midday on Wednesday because - well, just because. |
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We do that in England still? someone should really tell the shop keepers in my town, don't want them to look stupid. |
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They do that in Tarporley, about 10 minutes from here, but I've never come across it anywhere else.
What would your town be then kaz? |
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The main department store in Reading (Heelas) doesn't bother with half days. They simply don't open at all on Monday, and haven't done so for years and years. |
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'John Smiths' (UK) is closed on a Monday as well. The simple logic is that its the quietest day of the week. |
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Monday is market day here in Darlington. Everywhere's open, even on Bank Holidays. Early closing is officially Wednesday, but most shops stay open these days. |
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Yeah, everybody needs an outlet. Are you proposing a box for rants. Hang on I'll just read the idea....... |
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.....Damn, you're not. I had a really good rant all lined up. Could the shop have an area where half bakers toil on bringing their ideas to full baked status. A bit like the pizza resturants where you get to watch the italian stereotype throwing the dough? |
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And custard, lots of custard. |
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Someone should actually bake the 365-day HB calendar. |
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Are you working right now? |
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Do any of you work? Ever?? |
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Occasionally,
I pretend to woik anyway. |
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Pneumatic Hamster Tube Kit. |
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Portable Bernard Bresslaws would be available to hold your place in the cashier queue. |
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Nah, a half-baked Farmer's Almanac should have the predictions without the dates. (Just like Nostradamus, really.) |
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Alternatively it could just have the dates with no predictions. 17 October. |
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Er...that would be a calendar, Mr. Silly. |
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My good doctor, it would only have the dates in it when something is predicted to happen. So the date listed after 17 October may well be 3 February. |
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bliss: I wouldn't say that.
PeterSilly: Ah. I have a clock like that.
degroof: a torando - that's like a Gila monster, right? |
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That's the problem with calendars: Time keeps running out on them. Fickle things, they never seem to be seen with the same date from one day to the next. |
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