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A rather specialist product this,
for all the British Ex-pats
living in sunnier climates.
Relentless sunshine is obviously
going to get a bit tiresome for a
true-Brit living somwehere nice.
Hence I propose an umbrella with
a reservoir of water which is
pumped out from nozzles at the
edge of
the umbrella, and falls
all around the user. The water
could be recirculated somehow
(don't want to waste any in
rain-starved countries), and have
different settings for Light
Shower, Squall, Downpour, Cats
and Dogs etc. It could also
randomly blow itself inside out.
This gives the user something to
complain about, thereby making
conversation easier
Annotation:
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A nice idea, but I suspect that one of the reasons people move from UK is to escape the British weather. I will withhold my vote pending comment from an ex-pat.
As a minor design modification, the grip has a tube which connects to the reservoir, and the 'rain' (which has optional, regionally-inspired, pollutants included) is pumped gently up the handle to a single nozzle at the top whence it flows down the canopy. This way, if the material develops a split, the rain drips onto the user's face or down the back of his neck, completing the sensation of pissed-off-ness. |
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I don't live there (I've been there several times), but no one beats the Chicago/North Indiana area for bad weather. I swear I don't know how folks live there. |
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There's the story of the founders of Notre Dame University setting out on their trek west in 1842 with the intention of setting up their institution in Southern California. They got to a spot where they hit bad weather and said, "OK, we'll set up here for now, then we'll move on when the weather improves." They've been there since. |
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Actually it doesn't just have
to be for "Colonialist Scum",
it could also be marketed as
"Good old days Umbrella". For
those Brits (like meself) who
prefer to stay in Britain, but
with the effects of Global
Warming, miss all those old
rainy days. Not that I have
seen much evidence of global
warming causing less rain. |
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No-one actually *owns* umbrellas, you are just a transportation mechanism to get them to the next person who will leave them in a bus shelter for the next person... |
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Nor do they have any interest in keeping the user dry. Opening an umbrella is just a means of displaying mating plumage to draw the attention of other umbrellas. |
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