Link from House of whacks

Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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Fake Guard Dog
G.N.O.M.E.™ Defense
Haunted House Security System
House of whacks
Rambo House
Zombie guards

home: security: theme

House of whacks
Delay. Flay. Replay.

(+10, -1)

[vote for,
against]

See the problem with locks is that they only keep honest people out of your house, yet it is illegal to booby trap your premises and someone breaking in can actually sue for damages if you do, (at least here).
I've always thought that if I were to build a house that a good security system for extended leaves would be to have fold down panels beneath every window that are covered in upward pointing nails. This may not keep you from getting ripped off but there should be a decent trail of blood smeared footprints to follow and DNA evidence to boot.
Well scrap that, it's too inhumane and far too practical, enter house of whacks.

Arming the newly installed security system activates a gauntlet of laser trip wires and motion sensing triggers designed not to harm but deliver a good thrashing at every turn. Flexible poles swing upwards from the floor and downwards from the ceiling with more force than stepping on a rake. Lengths of sand filled garden hose whip from around corners as containers of marbles are dispersed across the floor below sensor range.
The real selling feature of this system is the live video feed emailed to your laptop.

<bing> You've got crooks.

2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 19 2006

Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee

Destination URL. E.g., http://www.coffee.com/

Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)

Nice - I'd prefer the "Haunted House" model though <sound of far-away echoing laughter>

hippo, Feb 19 2006

"Hey Burt, this guy's got a collection of vintage baseball bats, come over here and s- OW! CRAP! OOF! OY! HELP!..."

wagster, Feb 19 2006

Accidentally leave a rake under every window. "It's just an unfortunate coincidence."

Arming the alarm loosens the nails in certain boards in high traffic areas. Stepping on a board while the alarm is on means that a board occasionally swings up and "WHAP!", right in the face.

Of course, no-one notices this, as no-one walks through the house while the alarm's on... that's just dumb.

UnaBubba, Feb 20 2006

"Honestly officer, I don't know why they decided to step on those caltrops. I keep them there for decorative purposes only."

notmarkflynn, Feb 20 2006

At first, I thought this idea would be about a house where the local "mob" took their potential victims, to give 'em a quick injection of lead.

UnaBubba, Feb 20 2006

well, don't mean to whack a good idea, but isn't this similar to the whacking scene in Hitchhiker's Guide?

dentworth, Feb 22 2006

Yes.
Yes it is, I suppose the difference being that I could build a house and make it do this, while building a planet that could do this would take at least an extra week.

Easy.

2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 22 2006

your own automated "Home Alone". cute.

xaviergisz, Feb 23 2006

Odd. That's pretty much what I thought of it, too.

UnaBubba, Feb 23 2006

Cute, or odd?

2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 23 2006

Heh, video feed indeed [+]

Never did see that film House of Wax.

skinflaps, Feb 23 2006

I went to Venice with a friend of mine - when he saw the Bridge of Sighs he said "That's not very big".