h a l f b a k e r y
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All objects placed on Kafka's Table Top
of
Pusillanimous Rejection, will be conveyed
inexorably to the edge and allowed to fall
unto the floor.
I should explain.
The table top consists of
a matrix of 100 x 50 mechanical flies
each
of
which is lying on its back with its six tiny
legs
pointing up expectantly.
Anything placed on the surface of the
table immediately stimulates the flies in
direct contact to
begin moving their legs in a co-
ordinated
action, that causes the object to be
gradually carried to the edge, from where
it falls off, leaving the table clear for the
next recipient.
Only the legs of the flies touched by the
object become active, the others
remain at rest, this all being
controlled by a processor hidden inside
the table.
Some objects are allowed to stay for a
while, but will inevitably still be rejected.
For others rejection is instantaneous and
rapid. No explanations are discernable
for
this, hence the reference to the works of
Franz Kafka.
Pathways to the edge may be torturous,
with the offending object being lead on a
merry dance over the surface, following a
randomising algorithm, but the
end
result is always the same: a trip to the
floor, to join all the other smashed and
broken relics.
* Except this
http://www.pic-corp...onsumer/flystik.htm
Please insert * at your leisure. [Ling, Oct 16 2006]
Annotation:
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Oh yes.... replace my boss's desk with one of these and let him think it's a mysterious gift from the corporate big-wigs. Then let the confusion (and fun!) begin as he tries to do his paperwork! |
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Baked, stage diving. Oh wait, they use their legs here. |
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The cynic in me wonders if [xenzag] was merely framing a metaphor of the halfbakery. |
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Where's the [xenzag] illustration, [xen]? [+] |
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I'm working on it..... have numbered and
named all the individual flies, just have to
line them up properly. |
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I both love it, and am slightly disturbed by it. Not enough buns. |
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It was even better when I mis-read it and thought it said "...this being controlled by a professor hidden inside the table..." |
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Somewhere on the table will be a fly with
only five legs. |
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The cockroach puts his mobile 'phone on the table, fully aware it is coated with a substance poisonous to flies. |
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I can't link to this site but type "cilia skin" into a search engine. |
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Similar, minus the Pusillanimousisness. |
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At first all the arrangements for building the Table Top of Pusillanimous Rejection were characterised by fairly good order; indeed the order was perhaps too perfect, too much thought was taken for flies, insect handlers, accomodation for the workmen, and channels of communication, as if there were centuries before one to do the work in. Soon, it became clear that the flies were impatient, though willing to work if they were to be justly rewarded for their labours. |
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Kafka probably invented the safety hat after a misfortunate incident with a falling object from a table top. It was noted that the table resided in a large castle far away in |
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Do any of these insects undergo any changes, say in body shape, or something? |
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The flies are inscrutable and do not
change. The references to Kafka are not
concerned with Metamorphosis, but
more about the lack of explanation or
control prevalent in The Trial. |
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Like they say, "It could only happen in Amerika." |
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Perhaps there should be one of these in every courtroom? |
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This idea creeps the living hell out of me. So much so that I am almost about to bone it... but I won't becasue the marvelous mechanical legs will only usher it away. |
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Will this croissant land face up or face down? |
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Why use flies, why not pigmy goats? |
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I think I'll put my pet spider on the table and let him feast. The flies can't get away, right? |
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The flies are mechanical, so the spider will
eventually be thrown off no matter what it
does, especially if it hangs around long
enough and starves. |
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You know, you could build a railing around the edge of the table and then lay on the flies and get a massage. |
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I'm not sure what sort of massage you'd get from flies. |
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The mechanical flies seem like an enormously difficult order. Why not just make the entire table vibrate? |
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