h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.
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Koala bears are cute and cuddly, even if they're not actually bears.
Sometimes there are bush fires, and sadly, being slow moving and rather dim, lots of koalas die.
Because they are slow-moving, it is easy for humans to pick them up and carry them to safety; however, being picked up is often so
stressful to a wild koala that they literally die of fright or shock (check it out, it's true).
Solution: the Koala Scuttle. The Koala Scuttle is a large scoop make of tough, washable hypoalergenic plastic. The interior has lots of attachment points for Eucalyptus branches (The koala's principal food source). Prior to use, the scuttle is lined with fresh branches; the user then scoops up the koala who ends up is a seemingly "natural" environment.
Having transported the little chap to a safe distance from the fire, the scuttle is tipped up and the koala wanders off in search of food, having never come into contact witha human and thus being spared the shock of being picked up.......
Lesbian koalas.
http://koalas.org/lesbian.html
Stressed- out female koalas become homosexual in captivity. [pyggy potamus, Dec 08 2007]
Put out the fire
Galah Extinguisher
Tenuously related self-promotion [theleopard, Dec 08 2007]
Annotation:
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The current fires on Kangaroo Island may help alleviate the massive overpopulation of koalas that has occurred there in the past 30-40 years. |
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Also, given the fires are moving at speeds of up to 50mph I would guess it's every marsupial for himself in those conditions. Plastic isn't much use in those conditions, either, unless you intend making tourist souvenirs of charred koalas, embedded in melted plastic blobs. |
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There's already been one human fatality. Koala casualty figures are still a bit sketchy. |
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// tourist souvenirs of charred koalas, embedded in melted plastic blobs // |
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Eeeewwww horrid..... poor little koalas. |
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[custard], one suspects that you are of Antipodean extraction ... I am right about the whole "koalas dying from shock" thing, aren't I ? I read an article on bush fires and that stuck in my mind ... |
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Could they instead be given a tasty
barbecue coating just before they're
engulfed? |
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I've never heard of them dying from shock just from being picked up. People are warned not to pick them up, but for another reason. |
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They can become stressed if they are handled constantly. This is often used as an argument against shipping them to places like Japan for the purpose of placing them in zoos where they are overhandled for photo opportunities. Some koalas die in these circumstances. |
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It is inadvisable to pick up a wild koala, especially if it's scared. They have claws that are used for climbing (and sleeping in) trees. They can do you a nasty damage if they are not handled very carefully, preferaby with several layers of a thick towel between you and the koala at all times.. |
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I doubt that eating them would be much fun, either. They never drink water, but survive on the moisture they derive from the eucalyptus leaves they eat. They consequently excrete a lot of eucalyptus byproducts and especially concentrated ammonia. Neither is pleasant in any concentration, in my experience. |
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I would venture they might taste somewhat like strong cough lozenges steeped in cat piss, at a guess. |
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Well, swan crap is pretty foul too - so I'm
not sure your theory holds true. |
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I've thought about it... the "death from shock" thing might be about animals that are already injured and then picked up. It's how most koalas come to be in captivity in the first place. |
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//Well, swan crap is pretty foul too - so I'm not sure your theory holds true//
Are you implying that you have tasted swan?
Does Her Maj know this? |
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I'm not sure if the Bursar has to inform Her
on each and every occasion. |
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I've eaten swan. Tough, gamey: duck is to swan as chicken is to turkey. |
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Tough? Have you spoken to the chef? |
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