h a l f b a k e r y"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register.
Please log in or create an account.
|
Its a tough day at the office. Youre so busy you barely have time to eat, let alone cruise the internet. Then you get an email from a manager that is essentially a nonsensical paragraph of management-speak. A quick skim through it reveals nothing that can be recognised as a specific request, question
or command. You dont have time for this!
Enter the Management-speak Auto Email Responder, or MAER for short. The MAER uses simple grammar rules to create structured sentences, using nouns, verbs etc. plucked from a lookup table, using random numbers to choose words. Naturally the lookup table would be comprised of nouns such as framework, player etc; verbs such as implement, facilitate, capture etc; adjectives such as key, high-level etc.
The MAER can be configured to respond to emails as flagged by the user, or for the more adventurous/busy worker, it can be set in fully-automatic mode, whereby it will detect an incoming management-speak email (matching words from its lookup table) and reply without any user input.
CorpSpeak Generator
http://www.lavarnd....i-bin/corpspeak.cgi Generates random management-speak [Aq_Bi, Feb 02 2005]
Web Economy Bullshit Generator
http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html Not as ambitious as [Aq_Bi]'s link [Detly, Feb 02 2005]
[link]
|
|
RE: Important Announcement
As always, a multimedia based resolution establishes an action item for the solutions-oriented deliverables. With our redeployment of HTML authoring tools, redirection of a target functionality freeze, and reduction in the solutions, first class leadership positions sign off on the I/O intensive plug-ins. So, the turnkey systems capture a price-performance customer partnership. |
|
|
I think it would cause difficult situations for the user. However, this is because I'm taking it dead seriously. I'd kill for one of these... [+] |
|
|
We have identified numerous options to harness the synergistic opportunities of corporate-wide system implementation and have, accordingly, awarded you a croissant. |
|
| |