h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, best, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Is there an annoying mime working a street near you? Just use the
Mime Sweeper to rid the neighborhood of this annoying pest.
Here’s how it works. You slip up behind the mime and when no one
is
paying attention to him, most anytime usually, you slip the Mime
Sweeper over his body. The Mime
Sweeper II is a 6 x 6 x 6 clear
plastic
box that is completely undetectable, soundproof and airtight. Once
over his body the Mime is trapped and cannot get out. The mime
will
give the performance of this life until he runs out of air.
Mime Clearance Team
Mime_20Clearance_20Team
First, kill all the lawyers, then the gnomes, then the mimes. [UnaBubba, Oct 25 2008]
Please log in.
If you're not logged in,
you can see what this page
looks like, but you will
not be able to add anything.
Annotation:
|
| |
silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence .... hack, cough, ugh
Okay, but mimes are at least quiet. Can you come up with a One-Man-Band Banisher? |
|
| |
This will get you gaol time over here. |
|
| |
BTW, this kind of flippant promotion of mime abuse is a bit much. If it's meant tongue-in-cheek, then it really isn't funny. If it isn't, you really need to read up on the subject before you have mimes. |
|
| |
Mimes sometimes act like mimes. Saying that mimes act "like mimes" has a lot more to do with the person observing the behaviour than the actual behaviour of the mimes. Trying to completely control their occasional impulsiveness and tantrums will do very bad things to them later on. |
|
| |
Placing them in a closet, or any other confined space is never, ever, ever, a legitimate form of discipline, and does not teach the mime anything other than cruelty exists and that it is used by the people who is [sic] supposed to love them. It is demeaning to take a mime out of their [sic] normal environment and to place them [sic] into a purpose-built contraption mean [sic] to cut them off from human contact and empathy. |
|
| |
It is stupid and weak to suggest that this is the proper way to handle a mime. Simply placing the mime in such a thing would be an abuse crime. It would also result in the mime being frightened and alone, for the sake of your present peace. |
|
| |
Therefore [marked-for-delirium] cruelty. |
|
| |
You're a sick, pinko, bleeding-heart liberal, [UB]........... |
|
| |
[UB] Is this comment meant to be serious because if it is it
isn't. If it's meant tongue-in-cheek, then it really isn't funny.
It seems to fall into the vague no-mans land of why did you
bother. |
|
| |
Oh, ferchrissakes, take a look at the similarity between what I wrote and the maunderings of whatsisname on Discipline Machine. |
|
| |
I hate mimes. In fact, the last time I saw a mime on stage I ended up being dragged up onto the stage from the audience, where I was asked to play the bull in a Spanish bullfight. I opted to be a gay bull and to kill the bullfighter, much to the delight of the crowd, when I tackled him and threw him on his back on the stage. I think mimes should be... [link] |
|
| |
// kill all the lawyers, then the gnomes, then the mimes / |
|
| |
Tautology. Gnomes aren't alive per se, which slightly mars the vastt enjoyment to be gained from smashing in their pointly little skulls with a hammer. |
|
| |
Suggest you substitute "destroy" or "eliminate" for "kill". |
|
| |
Also, mimes are worse and more annoying than gnomes, so they should come second on your list. |
|
| |
[UB] what we have here is not tongue-in-cheek, it’s black
humor and [UB] you are missing the subtle irony in it. The
mime is stuck in the box and is going through the same
motions that he has tried to perfect as part of his act. The
question is can he do it well enough for someone to
believe it and help him. Then there are the people
passing, do they ignore the mime because he is going
through the same motions he usually does or do they think
he is such a great mime that they leave a few coins and
move on. And the last gruesome alternative, do they
realize that he’s not miming and take videos with their
cameras and upload a clip called “Mime gets It” to uTube. |
|
| |
Now if you called me out on stereotypism I would have to
agree with. |
|
| |
<Watches amazed the uncommon spectacle of [UB] being lectured on "black humour"> |
|
| |
Soundproof boxes are not the new custard, so it seems. Hey, UB, that's a timeless rant, no? Bravo. How would one translate it to other kneejerk reactions? Like, say, one's distaste for tilapia. I hate tilapia, but don't know how to voice this opinion.
Thanks for the help,
Disgusted in Dystopia |
|
| |
A potential tip, [Gem]. When you attempt to explain the workings of your subtle humor, it's not so subtle, or humorous, anymore. |
|
| |
// A potential tip, [Gem]. When you attempt to explain the workings of your subtle humor, it's not so subtle, or humorous // |
|
| |
those annoying mimes are just trying to earn a living. |
|
| |
Well, they coud do it some more socially acceptable way, like prostitution, selling arms, drug dealing, or people trafficking. |
|
| |
If they are really desperate, they could always go into politics..... but obviously they'd need to change their names - the shame for their families would be too great. |
|
| |
Or they could go to law school, but that's just silly. ...... |
|
| |
My comment, "First, kill all the lawyers..." is a paraphrasing of Shakespeare, from Henry VI... "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers or if tyranny is to prevail, tyrants must first kill all the lawyers" |
|
| |
I merely lumped gnomes and mimes in with lawyers. |
|
| |
//Subtle irony//? Who the fuck are you trying to kid, [theGem]? There's nothing subtle and very little ironic about your idea... you're suffocating street performers in a magic box. That comes under the heading Gross Cruelty, in my book, regardless of how much I hate mimes (Shit, I even gave the poor cunts a sudden demise by using them to clear landmines). If anything my heavy-handed requoting of [nomocrow] was almost ironic, but I posted it for less than altrusitic reasons so I'm not going to claim irony was any sort of motivation. I think there's even a passage in the Help File (halfbakers' bible) that says, "If you have to tell people how funny your idea is then it probably isn't". QED. |
|
| |
BTW, //The mime will give the performance of this life until he runs out of air.// |
|
| |
Further evidence that you can't actually be sure that mimes are dead? Perhaps they are merely reincarnated as halfbakers with a loose grasp of physics, in their next life / lives? |
|
| |
And another thing: How is this box "completely undetectable"? Is it undetectable to the naked eye, undetectable to the touch? If so, how does it keep the mime in? Is it undetectable to closer examination, or is it an ionically neutral surface that is both hydro- and oleophobic, so repelling water, paint and any other material one might use to mark its outside surface to ensure it doesn't pose a hazard to pedestrian or vehicular traffic? I wanna know just how undetectable this box is, and if it's //completely undetectable// then I wanna know how the mime detects it? |
|
| |
Finally, if I want to hasten the demise of the mimes I trap with one of these boxes can I please have a small hole through which liberal quantities of hogwash can be poured, to drown the offenders? |
|
| |
PS. I gave it a plus vote because I like the idea and I like the things you write in annotations, [tG]. You seem a decent sort of cove, so please don't take my little polemic to heart, OK? |
|
| |
Won't anybody think of the mimes ? |
|
| |
Well [UB] it appears we have come to an impasse so why
don't we just "Agree to Disagree" and direct our attention on
a group more worthy of our wrath then mimes like the
morons that come up with platitudes like “Agree to
Disagree.” |
|
| |
Yeah, let's go and pick on some newbies. |
|
| |
Yes, why not. But we miss the good old days of the Troll hunts. Don't see so may of 'em around these days, think they may have been over-hunted in these parts ..... |
|
| |
<gazes wistfully at well-polished and sharpened Troll Harpoon on hooks over mantlepiece> |
|
| |
OK, let's go knock a bridge down and see if we can flush some of them out. |
|
| |
Do you need a Fake Troll Harpoon, to kill a fake troll? |
|
| |
Yes, and luckily I am selling them at a very reasonable price. |
|
| |
Trolls are like photons. If you ignore them they dont exist. |
|
| |
The antidote to mimes is the ventriloquist. Give voice to a mime, and he's no longer a mime. |
|
| |
"The antidote to mimes is the ventriloquist" - ldischler |
|
| |
So what we have here is a ventriloquist with a mime sitting
on his knee and the audience has to figure out which one is
the dummy. |
|
| |