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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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I dont know about you, but I look damn rough when viewed via a webcam. I need something to make me look better in Web conferences.
Luckily, Ive commissioned some real-time image processing software that can add a configurable false moustache or beard, enhance head-hair thickness and curliness as
well as add rimless spectacles for that intellectually un-attainable look. Web conferences are just so much better now. Female beta-testers have dubbed it Nivi-Cam as it also virtually removes the seven signs of ageing. Normally by the way, I personally configure 'signs of ageing' to 4.6 out of 7 as it's fairly CPU intensive and has to be balanced against beard length.
Im also informed that if I take my shirt off, it can add a bit of extra muscle tone here and there and apparently, I can even get a six-pack upgrade if I get a better PC. I havent asked what the developers have done for the ladies; although I expect I'll find out next week when the second beta-testing phase starts. Nor have I followed up the rumours about Sven and those well-toned film stars with their huge moustaches.
There are still a few bugs to iron out. The cat wandered in the other day and the software went a bit wild. I ended up with a stinky fig leaf dangling off my virtual nose that I couldnt shake off. The software somehow knew to wrinkle my nose and pull a face in response.
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||I want to say Sari 'bout your luck, but that'd be rude so I won't.
||The real-time Sari upgrade is scheduled for release 2.
||I first misread this as navel cam. I was thinking- "geez, does navel gazing really need to be technologically mediated?"
||I was thinking of an actual real time image with false moustache superimposed that moves like a real one and elicits comments like "That's a fine moustache - when did you grow it?"