Now private client lawyers, the people most often called upon to notarise documents are, to a man jack of them, noodlearmed freaks who lurk in clustered together windowless offices, daydreaming of inheritance tax planning. To make their pallid-skinned lot easier by eliminating cramp, I present the Pneumatic Seal.

The Pneumatic Seal uses the same dynamic pin matrix technology as the "Dynamic Stamp" (q.v.), only this time the matrix pins have more rounded ends to avoid damaging the document to be sealed. The imprinting mechanism is powered by either a velveteen hand pump similar to those seen on perfume bottles, a foot pump, to help these weedy misfits develop some muscles or, for the ostentatiously successful practitioner, cans of compressed air, fresh bottled from the lungs of Cuban virgins.