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Pussy Discharger

 No more nose and fingertip shocks.
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Many years ago, I remember stroking our pet cat but causing a massive build up of static electricity. When the cat nuzzled into my hand, there was a huge and painful spark between the cat's nose and my fingertip. It was so bad the cat ran away and was not my friend for several days afterwards.

I propose an earthing strip for cats. This would be a metal collar with a conducting path to ground perhaps via the tail or a paw.

With this you would always be friends with your cat.

—DenholmRicshaw, May 19 2002

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       Would leather bootees help at all? I think the cats might strangle themselves with your earthing strip.
—po, May 19 2002
   

       I have found that it is quite helpful to hold one of the cat's toes (the part with no fur) while stroking the cat. Although the outside of the cat's coat may have static electricity induced, the cat won't feel it.
—supercat, May 19 2002
   

       I was afraid to look... in case this was for some sort of Bazookat device.
—UnaBubba, May 19 2002
   

       I like "Feline Grounding" more than, um, the current title.
—bristolz, May 19 2002
   

       thank you, bris.
—po, May 19 2002
   

       "AntiStatiCat"   

       Could a cat be retrofitted with one of those rubber strap things they have for cars (drags on the ground, supposed to dissipate charges)? May be easier to rub kitty with a fabric softener dryer sheet, or catch it with some anti-static spray. Whatever the solution, sounds like there's going to be a sour puss.
—phoenix, May 19 2002
   

       A much better title, [phoenix].   

       Fit the cat with anti-static wicks like those found on the trailing edges of aircraft control surfaces.
—bristolz, May 19 2002
   

       Smack it with a rolled-up newspaper. Problem solved.   

       Would that be a "Feline Dysconduct Shot"?
—reensure, May 19 2002
   

       Wrap a thin copper wire around your moggy's tail. Set him out on the roof in a thunderstorm. Enjoy bad luck for the rest of your life.
—UnaBubba, May 19 2002
   

       Anyone want to post 'Feline-based power generation'?
—phoenix, May 19 2002
   

       The existing name has its good points; it draws people in although it has its bad points too.   

       I'm a wimp; I should have posted my original version...   

       <Plucks up courage>   

       Whilst vigourously stroking a friendly pussy you can often experience an unpleasant shock when you first put an extremity in contact with a protruding, but moist part, of your nuzzling friend.   

       This happened to me some years ago; pussy ran off and was not my friend for several days.   

       She nursed a shocked nose; I recoiled with a painful forefinger.   

       It's amazing how much static electricity can build up on a cat.   

       <Unplucks courage>   

       My current favourite is "AntiStatiCat" and I think I will change the name.   

       That said, aeroplane anti-static wicks... aeroplanes have flaps... cat flaps... aha! pussy flaps... no, perhaps not.   

       Leather bootees [po] and rubber strap things [phoenix] - is there a category for cat bondage? If not why not?
—DenholmRicshaw, May 20 2002
   

       leather boots as opposed to rubber puss-in-boots. rubber shoes add to the static problem. I have sympathy with this as I am regularly attacked by the metal bits of shopping trolleys.
—po, May 20 2002
   

       Cat o' Nine-Volts.
—waugsqueke, May 20 2002
   

       Slightly off-topic, but I wish more things made that noise that degaussing a computer monitor makes. I love that sound.

I'm also heartened to have seen no lame copycat ideas based on the smutty reading of this idea's title - "Anti-Static Beaver", that sort of thing.
—hippo, May 20 2002
   

       Hah! "Cat o nine volts"
—bristolz, May 20 2002
   

       this idea, frustratingly, would not open on my school's pc today for some reason.
—po, May 20 2002
   

       young male cats would also have to wear go-faster stripes and furry dice with their earthing strips to complete the look. oh yeah! not.
—dgms, May 20 2002
   

       I've long wondered how a rubber strip can discharge static electricity to the ground, from a motor vehicle.
—UnaBubba, May 20 2002
   

       it's a very simple concept. send me a signed blank cheque and i'll tell you.
—dgms, May 20 2002
   

       //this idea, frustratingly, would not open on my school's pc today for some reason.//   

       Fantastic! Draws people in, then denies it only to further build the desire.
—DenholmRicshaw, May 20 2002
   

       Really, [dgms], do tell. (This should be enlightening). <settles back in chair, hands clasped behind large, shaggy head>
—UnaBubba, May 20 2002
   

       <Cliff Clavenesque interjection>The MICR encoding on checks is magnetic. MICR stands for Magnetic Ink Character Recognition.</Cliffy>   

       (it's possibly conductive, I don't know. Maybe I'll get out my checkbook and my ohmmeter later and see.)
—half, May 20 2002
   

       [hippo] But it didn't stop you getting in a go here, eh?
—goff, May 21 2002
   

       [goff] - Agh, rumbled!
—hippo, May 21 2002
   

       Name changed - I feel better now. For the record it used to be Pussy Discharger
—DenholmRicshaw, May 21 2002
   

       Excellent, DenholmRicshaw, I can croissant this now that the name doesn't give me the heeby-jeebies.
—salachair, May 21 2002
   

       <Remembering a horrible incident from my early teens>. Shuffled around, during a cold dry day, on the library carpet for about 5 minutes in resin-soled shoes, clutching a stainless steel Parker pen. The idea was to touch someone on the front teeth with the pen then watch their eyes roll backwards in pain. (Big nerves in teeth)   

       I was doing so well until Andrea Deicke (very hot but two years my senior) brushed past and the entire electrical potential I had developed suddenly discharged across about a 1/4in gap between me and Andrea. I resisted the urge to drop my shorts on the spot to see whether there was any cratering or burn mark on it. It took me several minutes to find my pen after I had recovered.
—UnaBubba, May 21 2002
   

       "Cat O' Nine-Volts" Ha!!   

       Remember the dry cells with the Static Cat acrotch the top?
—reensure, May 21 2002
   

       I have two cats and that has never, ever happened to me. Are you sure you weren't touching anelectrical wire or something?
—PauloSargaco, Feb 29 2004
   


 

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