Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Saddam Alarm

If he's in the US, we'll find him now!
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By recent order of the Secretary of Homeland Security, every cigar sold in this country is to have a plastic tip/mouthpiece which will quietly & automatically collect the smoker's DNA sample. It will then transmit the information to be checked against what we now know to be that of the deposed ruler. If there is a match, an alarm will sound on the cigar. Now Available at Palace Depot.
flerper, Apr 13 2003

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       Which will then explode.   

       Cuban cigars, of course.
RayfordSteele, Apr 13 2003
  

       Yes, of course, because the US is the first place he's headed. But he's on to your scheme... he quit smoking. You'll never catch him now!   

       Why not build the DNA detector into all toilet seats in the US? Then you'll catch his ass.   

       Man, what a dumb idea this is.
waugsqueke, Apr 13 2003
  

       I certainly appreciate your diplomacy. Please consider that this invention cannot be baked due to the sensitive nature of the instrumentation. Not to mention the explosives. Back off.
flerper, Apr 16 2003
  

       Well, he's got a point, flerper, don't you think?
snarfyguy, Apr 16 2003
  

       Feel free to snarf until it hurts. Personally, I'd just hurl a fishbone and move on.
flerper, Apr 17 2003
  

       Well, you're not supposed to hurl them at yourself, bliss
bristolz, Apr 17 2003
  

       So... wait for him to smoke a cigar, then set off an alarm to tell him you're on to him. WOW! Why hadn't anyone thought of that before?!
Parvenu, Apr 17 2003
  

       finally, I can try this out!
flerper, Jun 10 2004
  

       Well, since Saddam has been captured, why don't you do the same thing for Bin Laden and HIS followers? And instead of cigar tracking, use a DNA sample from when he got shot (He's been around for a long time, so I bet it happened at least once.)
croissantz, Aug 20 2004
  

       Why try to catch Saddam (when he's already been caught)?   

       Are you a Pentagon advisor or something?
ivanhoe, Oct 05 2004
  
      
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