Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Scary Sword

Okay, scary sword and contact lenses...
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The idea here is essentially a nonlethal and perhaps amusing means of self defense against muggers in a dark alley. It consists of a sword with a small flask of volatile liquid, along with a pair of contact lenses that can be triggered to glow red. (I was thinking some sort of flourescent dye that glows under UV.) You would also need a source of UV light to trigger the contact lenses, perhaps a bracelet or ring could conceal a small lightbulb. Anyhow, you're walking along some dark alley at one in the morning and some jerk comes up, pulls his knife and demands that you hand it over. You fall to your knees in a big dramatic coughing fit ala Alien, taking attention away from the fact that you're fiddling with that UV bracelet. Once it's on, you slowly stand up and look your assailant straight in the eye- and he gasps. Your eyes are glowing blood red! You draw the sword, (which you were wearing in a baldric or something like that) and it ignites. Reaching out towards you now dazed and confused would be mugger, you rasp softly "I've come for your soulll...." (or similar) He shits his pants and you go home happy. Or he goes berserk in which case you've got a flaming sword and he has a knife so good luck to him.
Madcat, Oct 21 2003

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       Feel free to modify with uv-responsive tatoos, pyrotechnics etc...
Madcat, Oct 21 2003
  

       If I were a theif or ruffian ... I would probably hesitate to attack a man with a sheathed sword. Either that or I'd come from behind and bludgeon him. Secondly it seems a little complex (i.e. fiddling with the ring). HOWEVER... any excuse to wear a sword in day to day life is okay with me.
DaGreengo, Oct 21 2003
  

       There can be only one.   

       You should really learn to speak latin, that would add a good touch to the system. dosnt matter what you say, just say it in a scary voice.   

       and the UV emmiting jewelry wouldnt work out too well, but if you found some chemical to add to the flaming sword fuel that makes it emit UV light then you've got a product.   

       but while we're on the subject, if your going to have a swor dfull of fuel to burn, why not find somthing more efficient to burn, like black powder. then maybe put a hole in the sword, then a little metal thing in the hole, so when you light the black powder the metal thing gets flung out at a high velocity to harm your would be mugger. but that may be difficult to use, so you'd have to change the shape of the sword, maybe remove the blade and shorten it, put in a bend and a trigger mechanism at the bend for easy access. now thats a product idea to prtect youself from muggers.
HalfwayHebrew, Oct 22 2003
  

       This would be good for the person wearing the Drenchcoat.
bungston, Oct 22 2003
  

       It would suck if it were raining...
RayfordSteele, Oct 22 2003
  

       But hebrew if I make this "sword with a hole in it" I'll have a holey-sword and I want a demonic "I'll eat your soul bitch!" kind of effect.
Madcat, Oct 22 2003
  

       *Sword ignites prematurely* -- "uhh yeah -- just ignore that." ... even better while sitting in church
Letsbuildafort, Oct 23 2003
  

       This sword should be freaking _long_. Like twelve feet. It could telescope out. The telescoping thing would make it a crap sword, but hopefully people would be so freaked out by the fire and contact lenses they would be shitting pants and not fighting.
bungston, May 13 2009
  

       UV so shortwaved it doesn't reveal itself to the mugger would also give you a sunburn, and all the other stuff on you that is UV-fluorescent would light up too - white lint on your cape, assorted proteins of mixed heritage etc.
loonquawl, May 13 2009
  
      
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