Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Shazam For Coughs

listens to coughs and tells you how long you have to live
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
(+9, -1)
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Shazam For Coughs is an online database that works exactly like its music recognition equivalent only this version identifies the nature of your cough.

To use it, you simply let it listen to your cough. Identification soon follows: "you have ingested a greenfly, which has lodged in the vicinity of your left tonsil"

xenzag, May 18 2018

"my beachball is ablaze" in Welsh https://translate.g...hball%20is%20ablaze
coughhhhhh eh chchhhhgguhhh a keucghhhh [xenzag, May 18 2018]

The vaguely related idea to which I refer phone_20takes_20pho...een_20for_20disease
[Wrongfellow, May 18 2018]

https://hhri.net/alexa-diagnose-my-cough/ thanks google - but just remember who thought of it first, if you can...... [xenzag, Oct 15 2018]

[link]






       EITHER you have ingested a greenfly, which has lodged in the vicinity of your left tonsil, OR you are saying "my beachball is ablaze" in Welsh.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2018
  

       See link - just for Max who speaks Welsh like a talking haggis.
xenzag, May 18 2018
  

       "Cough not found in database. Please submit a photo of your fingernails."
Wrongfellow, May 18 2018
  

       //My beachball is ablaze// [marked-for-tagline]
FlyingToaster, May 18 2018
  

       Shazough
Shazchoo
Shazart
calum, May 18 2018
  

       // My beachball is ablaze //   

       Oh, sorry, our bad ...   

       <powers down directed-energy weapon, realigns on unsatisfactory smouldering beach campfire/>
8th of 7, May 18 2018
  

       [8th], most of us just call them "Bic lighters".
MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2018
  

       Is it full of eels, by any chance ?
8th of 7, May 18 2018
  

       // [marked-for-tagline]// Seconded. I'm feeling immodest.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2018
  

       I don't mind Shazam analysing my cough, just make it stop getting Siri to tell me to turn my head first.   

       //Mae fy hofranlong yn llawn o eels//
RayfordSteele, May 18 2018
  

       People's airways are so different that a generalized database probably wouldn't be much good, but might be a good way to keep tabs on your particular cough patterns. For instance, you know you have bronchitis, cough into this and type in "Bronchitis". Then register your coughs when you have colds, flu, allergies, asthma attack etc so you have your own comparison database.   

       Then when you start coughing or sneezing, do it into the program and have it say "This cough is similar to the one you had when you had bronchitis."   

       Only problem is, not sure if there's any difference between coughs caused by different problems. It's just a spasm triggered by something. I guess if there's mucous involved that will add something that sounds different than a dry cough so might be some diagnostic utility there.   

       Clever idea though. [+]
doctorremulac3, May 19 2018
  

       I like the personalised variation. Choocolata for your suggestion. When I was a child I suffered from repeated episodes of bronchitis that left scars on my lungs, so I recognise the bronchial bark instantly, especially my own. A database of heart rhythms would be useful too? Maybe that one already exists.
xenzag, May 19 2018
  

       I know they can supposedly measure voice stress, maybe there are subtleties that computers can recognize that the ear can't.   

       I'm glad you're better now with the bronchitis thing. Sorry you had to go through that.
doctorremulac3, May 19 2018
  

       // A database of heart rhythms would be useful too? Maybe that one already exists. //   

       There have been competitions on Kaggle to develop a machine learning-based solution for that.
notexactly, May 25 2018
  

       see last link...
xenzag, Oct 15 2018
  

       Cough, cough, cough..... ”Congratulations, your dry cough indicates that you have coronavirus, but don't worry, it's all just a big hoax."
xenzag, Mar 16 2020
  
      
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