h a l f b a k e r y
Where life irritates science.
idea:
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, best, random
meta:
news, help, about, links, report a problem
account:
Browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
or Create a new account.
|
|
| Please log in.
If you're not logged in,
you can see what this page
looks like, but you will
not be able to add anything.
| |
Oh, my, god. The new laxative! Anorexics and old people will love it! BUN |
|
| |
Yeah, I think I'm with [po] on this one. BUN |
|
| |
It's already starting to work its magic on [pa've]. |
|
| |
[Pa've], dude, are you shitting yet? |
|
| |
//How do you tie the laces? //
Knitting needles, patience and a very steady hand. It could be a new 'executive toy'. |
|
| |
New Reenshoes, guaranteed to stay dry in any weather. |
|
| |
Is there any liquid in the bottle? Pickled sneakers? |
|
| |
It's like the Caramilk secret. |
|
| |
..pssst!....What's the Caramilk secret? |
|
| |
Do the shoes have some kind of rigging-like structure that can be erected by the pull of a string? |
|
| |
I can't tell you. Their spys are everywhere. |
|
| |
WTF!?
<clenches; shuffles off to loo> |
|
| |
It's certainly a really interesting way of selling footwear. Certainly would be a nice promotional tool for a new brand. |
|
| |
"In case of emergency, break glass." |
|
| |
<Cheeks puff out ... eyes widen and redden ... nostrils flare ... spokesperson peeps at bottleneck> "Hey! Is that sole?" |
|
| |
No, I'd be trying to figure out how anyone would do this. Tell me how and I'll take away this fishbone. |
|
| |
[baconbrain] - Plastic bottle: use memoryform plastic, heat plastic bottle until elastic, open up neck, insert shoe, cool bottle. Glass bottle: remove base of bottle while glass is still hot and pliable, cool bottle while leaving base heated, insert shoe, press bottle to hot base and fuse. |
|
| |
Using those fancy manipulator arms for keyhole surgery, a good cobbler could make a shoe inside a bottle. S/He'd just need some training on how to use the arms. |
|
| |
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe in a bottle,
How it got inside there would stump Aristotle,
If you give it some thought, it'll do in your head,
And leave you lying awake, all night, in your bed. |
|
| |
Annoyingly, after reading the "There was an old lady" starting I was so convinced it would be a limerick that I read it three times thoroughly trying to figure out how "thought" could rhyme with "head". |
|
| |
Sorry, [hidden truths], no time to warn,
Just a little ditty, in nursery rhyme form,
I'd have made my reply in a limerick,
But I didn't want to seem dim or thick,
And attract your derision and scorn. |
|
| |
I wonder, are there any nursery rhymes that are written in limerick form? |
|
| |
Well, I wrote one while in school (creative writing class) |
|
| |
There was a young penguin in drag,
Who swore he was not a real fag;
"But ice cubes are kinky,
And dresses are slinky,
And girl penguins just make me gag". |
|
| |
Back to the shoes: Does the cobbler get a wee cobbling stand in the bottle? |
|
| |
Oh, and a liter bottle would have a size 43 shoe, but a quart bottle would have a 10-1/2. |
|
| |
While walking on beach a man finds a shoe in a glass bottle on the tideline. Seeing a message in the shoe he breaks open the bottle to read: "Ha!, now no one will believe you found a shoe in a bottle" (+) |
|
| |
... and that, class, concludes today's lesson on how to write a parable. |
|
| |