Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sports Utility Spuds

Custom designed to get stuck in the tailpipe of an SUV near you
  (+35, -10)(+35, -10)(+35, -10)
(+35, -10)
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This product is designed specifically for eco-terrorists, and it is quite simply a monthly club in which members receive a box of potatos specifically measured to be the perfect size for shoving into the tailpipes of the polluting denizens of steel known as SUVs. Act now because November is Chevy Suburban Month. One well placed spud can render these Greenhouse Machines inoperable. Besides, they are tastey mashed or baked. We also gift wrap.
Vecini, Nov 21 2000

Car Compactor http://www.halfbake...dea/Car_20compactor
Argh: take some initiative and post the link yourself next time. [nick_n_uit, Nov 21 2000, last modified Oct 17 2004]

"I'm Changing The Climate" http://www.changingtheclimate.com
Big Game SUV Hunting: tag them with sarcastic bumper stickers. It's the sport of tomorrow, today. [pottedstu, Dec 14 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

NHTSA statistics http://www-nrd.nhts...sment/rollovers.htm
Oct 21 2003: Scroll to very bottom for single vehicle rollover stats. [krelnik, Oct 17 2004]

Psycho Killers http://www.tealeafmag.com
How Automakers psychologically market SUV buyers [tealeaf magazine, Oct 17 2004]

Wastemonsters - fighting the SUV menace http://www.wastemonsters.org.uk
Realistic fake parking tickets for SUVs in London, UK. Downloads etc at this site. [sianb, Oct 17 2004]

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       I'd like a Charter Membership.
thumbwax, Nov 21 2000
  

       I dont know: maybe the owners could claim that the tree in there back yard acts as a carbon sink....
imagooAJ, Nov 23 2000
  

       Can you make rotten ones too, so they fill the offender's SUV with rancid potato fumes?
dingo, Nov 25 2000
  

       who says we have to be eco-terrorists to use these?! I hate SUV's because they are large and people (typically women) who drive them tend to be reckless, as they think they are invincible! Women + SUVs = Disaster! Men + SUVs = not quite as bad but still annoying! I want the SUS but i don't really care whether SUVs pollute or not, i just hate the stinkin things!
djhotsauce, Nov 25 2000
  

       I would use these specifically to shove up the tailpipes of SUVs, full-sized pickups and other vehicles of the genus "land yacht" parked in spaces marked COMPACT. Better yet ... see the idea I just had called "Car Compactor." :)
arghblah, Nov 26 2000
  

       How about electrifying the tailpipe to teach the eco-terrorists that vandalism is bad, mmkay?
VeXaR, Jan 21 2001, last modified Jan 22 2001
  

       Great idea, but coincidentally you might want to make sure that the tailpipe is pointed away from anything valuable to you, because spuds can become airborne if not packed tightly enough. Other than this minor detail, happy hunting. I too detest women with SUVs.
cletusboy, Feb 08 2001
  

       I too detest men who make sexist remarks.
arghblah, Feb 08 2001
  

       I detest Sport Futility Vehicles, I don't care -who's- driving them...
StarChaser, Feb 08 2001
  

       You might as well get accustomed to SUVs as their general design configuration points to what all cars will look like in the future; i.e., tall and roomy. What's going on is that the motoring public is rediscovering what it's like to drive a car that doesn't require you to stick your head between your knees just to get in or to sit on the floor once you get there. SUVs are just a modern version of the sorts of cars we drove back in the 1940s.
coaster, Feb 10 2001
  

       No, those didn't flip over when you go around a corner at 5mph...
StarChaser, Feb 11 2001
  

       A 1940 car flip going in a straight line? Only in movies.
StarChaser, Feb 18 2001
  

       Any chance we'd have a self-detonating variety of potato?   

       That would be COOL. :)
1percent, Mar 19 2001
  

       ...or a potato that expands (slightly) when heated...
phoenix, Jul 20 2001
  

       Baked Potato. Sorry
thumbwax, Jul 20 2001
  

       I've always wanted to shove a potato in a tailpipe or two -- but it wasn't as much an SUV, as it was one of those goddamned little tricked-out honda civics with a coffee-can exhaust pipe.
cswiii, Jul 21 2001
  

       I remember seeing in Popular Science a foam mailer that expands when you puncture it. Now if you were to fold one up and use a broom handle to stuff one up a cold exhaust pipe, the heat from when the engine warms up will melt the plastic and cause the foam to be exposed causing it to expand, sealing the exhaust pipe.
Amishman35, May 02 2002
  

       That is a great idea: The potato could come with a back up potato for the driver of the SUV in case the little guy gets out to see what you have done. You could possibly cut a hole in the center of the potato to just restrict air, which would slow the jerk down, and possibly get the rig off the street for a week while a mechanic looks for a cause. The potato should come with a good push stick to get it wedged in there real deep and far back.
emtae, May 02 2002
  

       The potato could come with a back up potato for the driver of the SUV in case the little guy gets out to see what you have done.   

       You could cut a hole in the center of the potato to just restrict air, which would slow the jerk down, and possibly get the rig off the street for a week while a mechanic looks for a cause.   

       The potato should come with a good push stick to get it wedged in there real deep and far back.
emtae, May 02 2002
  

       The driver of the SUV could just go unbolt their exhaust from the catylitic converter, then run you over! Also, there is this little thing called manslaughter, and if someone died of CO poisining when you did that, too bad for you.   

       I say save them for the Hondas. The drivers think they are cool, but they really suck because they have a $25 car, and tried to make it fast.
dtstyle, Jan 23 2003
  

       Is it a federal offense to potato-pipe the president's car?
mgangemi, Jan 28 2003
  

       I like this idea. I especially like potato-based weaponry. From the potato-grenades described in this article, to the old and reliable potato cannons used by mischivious souls around the world, I see a future in these fields, and on the lands around them.   

       Not only do potatos pack quite a whallop, but they're also biodegradable! Just think of how much controversy the US Army would have avoided in the Gulf War had it used depleted potatoes instead of uranium. Go ahead, think about it. Think really hard. Astounding, yes?   

       Yes, yes it is.
rapid transit, May 18 2003
  

       //SUVs are just a modern version of the sorts of cars we drove back in the 1940s//   

       Thank you, coaster. It's about time somebody injected a little reality into all this mindless anti-SUV babbling.   

       Here's a fun fact, according to the Feds, the vehicle most commonly involved in a single vehicle rollover is (drumroll, please), the Chevy Corvette. Stick that in your tailpipe.
WikdWaze, Oct 21 2003
  

       All the statistics prove is that people are incapable of operating a motor vehicle. If you look at rollovers per vehicle-mile, the Vette probably still tops the list. SUV's wouldn't be far behind because people are stupid enough to think they can drive them like a Vette. Probably behind the SUV's would be commercial trucks. Even though far less stable than any SUV, trucks roll over at a lower rate due to driver skill. SUV's do not roll over on their own, it takes a stupid maneuver by the loose nut behind the wheel.   

       I still fail to comprehend why all these rants are specifically about SUV's. Vans and pickups are just as big, bigger than many. Vans and pickups are just as frequently used by a solo driver. There must be some sort of underlying jealousy issues or something.
WikdWaze, Oct 22 2003
  

       [WikdWaze] - Vans,pickups, busses, motorhomes etc have additional uses that a regular car doesn't offer. Hopefully, those vehicles are used for those purposes some of the time.   

       The problem with SUVs is that 100% of the time (source: made it up) they're driven downtown to the shops and back. For that, you do not need a maibatsu monstrosity.
benjamin, Oct 23 2003
  

       As has been noted in another anti-SUV thread, benjamin, just because you see an SUV with a lone person riding in it does not mean it is not needed for more strenuous duty at other times.   

       Peticelli, there have been a few cases in the past couple years of kids being run over by school buses, should we ban those as well? Every type of vehicle made is involved in deaths each year, SUV's are hardly unique.   

       Let's follow the logic of this all the way to it's conclusion. SUV's should be banned because they're bigger, more wasteful, and (supposedly) more dangerous than the Mini Cooper you folks think I should drive. Given that, then ALL cars should be banned because they are bigger, more wasteful, and (supposedly) more dangerous than motorcycles. Shame they don't grow potatoes small enough to plug the exhaust on those little deathtraps you tree-huggers love so much.
WikdWaze, Oct 25 2003
  

       // Why [are] all these rants specifically about SUV's? //   

       Because the television ads for SUV's feature obnoxious, selfish people.   

       So, not only are we irritated by having to sit through dozens of offensive ads every day, but we start to believe that the people who BUY SUV's must be as obnoxious as the people we see in the commercials.
phundug, Dec 29 2003
  

       This idea is staying. The discussion and the links are worthwhile and potatoes packed due their specific diameter is inventive.
bristolz, Jun 06 2004
  

       Will these tail-pipe stuffing potatoes only work on combustion engine powered vehicles ? After reading several of the posts on this site I cannot help but wonder if a little extra-curricular tail-pipe potato stuffing might help alleviate some of the pain.
kingwuz, Nov 12 2006
  

       This is not the idea I expected from the title. The following is a brief report on the culinary Sports Utility Spud.   

       The Sports Utility Spud is a large boiled potato with large wheels and ground (table) clearance for driving off-plate without getting dirty.   

       I initially speculated that it may be powered by its internal steam but the low pressures inside a potato cast doubt on this hypothesis.   

       The authenticity of specimens must be questioned since there are only very indirect arguments for its evolutionary fitness; even if it escaped being eaten, having been cooked it can no longer reproduce, and escaping being eaten is a much less effective deterrent to predators than, say, being poisonous. Also its concern for cleanliness seems to positively invite being eaten.   

       This leaves the possibility of a hoax in the tradition of the mermaid made from a monkey and a fish, or supernatural origin. Indeed, if the authenticity could be proved it would no doubt be seized upon as an argument against evolution.
caspian, Nov 17 2006
  

       <off-topic> [caspian], just on the off-chance, you wouldn't happen to be the Caspian from Playback in Christchurch, would you? </ot>
imaginality, Nov 18 2006
  

       [imaginality] Yup, that's me. Nice to see you here.
caspian, Nov 19 2006
  

       Likewise!
imaginality, Nov 19 2006
  


 

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