Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sweary Car
Swopping insults with your wheels.
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Since a lot of people spend a lot of their waking hours driving around in cars, it would seem appropriate for some type of human interactive device built in to the car's electronics. Modern cars have so much computer power built in these days this shouldnt be too much of a problem. If you go up to your car in the morning and kick it shouting 'good morning you piece of shit' the car would respond by hurling insults back at you. The more severe the violence got the more the car would retaliate up to the point of it refusing to unlock/lock doors and starting/ not starting. also prefractured components could be made to fail. The system could be overidden by dealers to put it back to its factory defaults.
Muleopod, Sep 10 2003

Smart Aleck Cash Registers http://www.halfbake..._20Cash_20Registers
Related technology with attitude problems (blatant self promotion). [krelnik, Oct 17 2004]


Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee

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       Wasn't this the idea in "Knight Rider"?
bungston, Sep 10 2003
   

       This is magic. Car's don't have THAT much computing power. PC's can barely do this, and, therefore, this is magic. The only reason I haven't MFD'd this is because I would feel bad issuing three in one day. By the way, where is DrCurry? I haven't seen him in a while.
fogfreak, Sep 10 2003
   

       You seen those new Toyota hybrid Prius? They have like a full-on computer system onboard. All the radio controls and everything go through this giant touch-screen LCD display. I'm sure that thing is powerful enough to curse at me...
DeathNinja, Sep 10 2003
   

       Baked in clunkers of many friends of mine over the years.   

       When I had a car (an '85 Toyota Tercel), I was nice to it and petted it and we got along just fine. I even wrote a song for it that my band did, called "Happy Car."   

       So, not to be a hippy, but maybe you're going about this the wrong way, muleopod.
snarfyguy, Sep 10 2003
   

       // When I had a car ... //   

       Oh yeah... total hippy.
RayfordSteele, Sep 10 2003
   

       Talking to French cars, in French, seems to work. Even if it doesn't make them work better, telling a Renault that it's a pile of shit is a gratifying feeling.
UnaBubba, Sep 10 2003
   

       ... but you'd have to say "Vous êtes un tas de merde." or it would just chime back, "Pardonez-moi?"
Cedar Park, Sep 10 2003
   

       [DeathNinja] I've taken the Prius for a test drive. The onboard computer isn't any smarter than a PDA.
fogfreak, Sep 10 2003
   

       [CP], 'zackly.
UnaBubba, Sep 10 2003
   

       "You call that accelerating? I'll show you accelerating . . . ."
bristolz, Sep 10 2003
   

       Save the words and take some action, strap a flame thrower (like the guy in South Africa did, shown in Guisness Book of World Records, how do you spell that?) to the side of your car, see who will be insulting you now.
phaders, Nov 18 2003
   

       [Bristolz]'s ano brings back memories of Basil Fawlty thrashing his car with a branch whilst hurling similar abuse... :)
simonj, Jul 23 2004
   

       You could have it programmed so that it would give in to you provided you said (sincerely) sorry for however you may have wronged it (bad mouthing it , kicking its tyres, whatever)
tasman, Jul 23 2004
   


 
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