Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Terminal Velocity Toilet

 Anti Splash back toilet
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Tired of Splash Back? Try the TVT. This eliminates this annoying problem with an extra deep bowl.

When produced, a fece will accelerate from near rest under gravity. The impact of the motion on the water in the u-bend causes a water plume. The height of this plume is proportional to the impact velocity of the stool.

By positioning the waters surface sufficiently below the seat the excrement will have reached its terminal velocity and will create a plume of maximum height. All splash back events can be eliminated by further increasing the depth of the bowl. This extra depth will account for any variance in air resistance of deposits.

—rambling_sid, Dec 06 2004

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       ...and thus the outhouse is born.   

       Eating two large pizzas each day will enable you to produce more cohesive stools, which means they contact the water surface prior to release. Search google for 'Cable Laying'. Problem solved.
—ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 08 2004
   

       icky
—bristolz, Dec 08 2004
   

       Record the sound of a turd screaming down a thousand foot drop... call it Music Nouveau.
—UnaBubba, Dec 08 2004
   

       Music of the night soil?
—rambling_sid, Dec 08 2004
   

       'cuttin turf' in Ireland. Well in the more in-bred areas anyway.
—etherman, Dec 08 2004
   

       The "Phantom 40-pounder". Says all you need to know.
—UnaBubba, Dec 08 2004
   

       Raise the water to a non-splash level in the toilet using a sensor in the bowl to check cheek distance.
—pelarson, Dec 09 2004
   

       Argh, no. Unflushed toilet contents being raised until they almost touch your nearest and dearest? <shudders>
—david_scothern, Dec 09 2004
   


 

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