Link from The most effective alarm clock ever conceived

Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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S'Noose Alarm
Secret Mission Alarm Clock
showeralarm
Smoke Alarm Clock
Sound Activated Annoyance Alarm
Terror Clock
The most effective alarm clock ever conceived
WAR!!!
Water-squirting alarm clock

product: alarm clock: extreme

The most effective alarm clock ever conceived
If you dont wake up, you will never wake up!

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This alarm clock will feature a built in terrarium/insect/reptile cage. You go out and find the most deadly animal you can possibly place inside your cage and you can keep it as a pet. When the "death by poisonous creature" button is placed in the on position of the alarm clock the cage will release the creature into your bedroom. The alarm clock will also feature a smoke generator to cause breathing problems and eventual suffocation. It will have "scent-expellers" to release the most repulsive scents imaginable. The alarm will also be connected to a phone line and will make phone calls to random numbers and eventually it will dial 911. The alarm clock would say your name and number to ever number it called and then insult the person it called, hang up and dial another number. The 10th call or so would be to 911 because you probably were killed by your poisonous creature that got released earlier. It would be battery powered, solar powered, and even run on a potato as a third backup power source! The clock would also feature prerecorded Tony Robbins motivational speeches as well as pre-recorded truckstop bathroom noises! If you can sleep through this alarm clock you are never going to wake up!

The Dude, Dec 04 2002