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Tow Jupiter to Earth orbit

Make Earth a moon of Jupiter
  (+2, -12)(+2, -12)
(+2, -12)
  [vote for,

Take Jupiter and use some of the hydrogen in the atmosphere to construct hydrogen bombs strong enough to nudge it gradually towards the sun. while pelting it incessantly and strategically with asteroids. Continue until its orbit is near ours, in such a way that we start to go round it once every twenty-four hours with captured rotation. Steer Mars, Venus and Mercury into Lagrangian points in the same orbit as the Earth around it too, then terraform them. Using various space debris, construct a more visible ring with a date and time display scrolling round it. This would protect us from asteroid impacts more effectively than a second moon, provide a spectacular view at night and provide more habitable planets within easy reach.
nineteenthly, Jul 31 2008

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       So, what are you going to do *after* lunch?
pertinax, Jul 31 2008

       Comic book, and not a very good one.
ldischler, Jul 31 2008

       RADIATION!!!! Jupiter pours it off and it rains down on all its moons. If you brought it closer to the sun you would stoke its internal engine and fry all life that was silly enough to pass thru its wake.   

       Alas I have but one fish to give this idea, but I give it with gusto.   

       (Anno modified to remove offending apostrophes. My apologies to hippo and others who are grammatically sensitive.)
MisterQED, Jul 31 2008

       But, [MisterQED], how can we listen to warnings of doom from someone who writes "it's" when they should write "its"?
hippo, Jul 31 2008

       Tis works to.
blissmiss, Jul 31 2008

       Wouldn't the new orbit of the Earth fry us part of the day, freeze us the other especially when the sun is eclipsed by Jupiter?   

       Can you create a stable orbit whose axis is perpendicular to the sun's radial lines? This would keep us out of the deadly radioactive tail and leave us like the moon still orbiting the sun and in a complex dance with Jupiter.
MisterQED, Jul 31 2008

       An orbit around Jupiter perpedicular to Jupiter's around the Sun? I don't think that does much to shield against asteroids, though.
Zimmy, Jul 31 2008

       //while pelting it incessantly and strategically with asteroids// ahhahahahahaaah just pelt it man we can just pelt it incessantly
yuridasuks, Jul 31 2008

       Wait this could work with a little mod, move Jupiter into orbit around the Sun in such a way so that Earth can stay at the Lagrange point between it and the sun which is equal to our present orbit. During the day we'd have the sun and at night Jupiter would rise. That would be the best asteroid protection.
MisterQED, Jul 31 2008

       //That would be the best asteroid protection.//

I'd expect Jupiter would attract and focus incoming asteroids and comets on the earth. Like a magnifying lens, only with rocks.
ldischler, Jul 31 2008


       "Like a magnifying lens, only with rocks"
normzone, Jul 31 2008

       Why would a civilization who can move planets worry about asteroids?   

       Whatever, as long as we are playing planetary pool, lets push the three gas giants together to ignite the fusion core and then place Earth at a wider orbit of our new twin star system.
MisterQED, Jul 31 2008

       It wouldn't be big enough. The smallest stars are several dozen times Jupiter's mass. The radiation belts are around the distance of the closest three Galileans. Callisto is fine for a start. Quite a lot of the mass would be reduced when it got turned into fusion bombs, which would reduce the magnetic field causing the radiation problem and altering the distance at which it would take a day to orbit Jupiter.   

       The new orbit wouldn't make a lot of difference because it's only a day, which is less than the radius of Io's orbit, assuming the mass was still its original value. I actually think a bigger problem would be the inability of Jupiter's gravity to hold on to its substance at the temperature at this distance from the sun, so the atmosphere would be boiling away and ionising and we'd be surrounded by a fairly dense plasma. Result: spectacular aurorae and instant death for everything on the Earth's surface probably. Still, it might be safer from asteroids, who knows?
nineteenthly, Jul 31 2008

       //lets push the three gas giants together to ignite the fusion core//

"All these worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landing there."
ldischler, Jul 31 2008

       Would someone work out the delta-v (of JUPITER!!) required to do this? The energy required would be beyond giganormous.   

       Maybe matter-antimatter annihilation is a better technology platform...
ecbatana, Aug 01 2008

       E=2*min(m+,m-)*c^2 with (m-)=0 or thereabouts...
lurch, Aug 01 2008

       OK, you beat me to it, but the mass of Jupiter is about two yottagrammes and it's four AUs from us. Its mean orbital velocity is thirteen kps, whereas ours is thirty. Presumably it should spiral in a bit, and the orbital inclination should be taken into consideration. I can't do the maths because i'm scared the integral symbols will get tangled in my hair. In a way, it would make more sense to make it inefficient because then Jupiter would lose mass more quickly.   

       You would be getting four nice moons, two with ridiculously deep water oceans, into the bargain you know.
nineteenthly, Aug 01 2008

       //OK, you beat me to it// - no, I didn't. I just responded to [ecbatana]'s matter/antimatter quip by saying "yahbut... we hain't got any!"
lurch, Aug 01 2008

       // matter-antimatter annihilation is a better technology platform //   

       No, use a forced quantum singularity.   

       [ninteenthly], we can do this for you wholesale. Make us an offer.
8th of 7, Aug 01 2008

       Yes, i can see the somewhat obvious Einstein equation now, but i was expecting something else. Sorry, i wasn't looking.   

       Are you thinking of towing it using a singularity or shoving it through one? The latter might turn it into plasma, in which case it sort of turns into a starlet, which would be bad, unless you also put the sun out.
nineteenthly, Aug 02 2008

       "unless you also put the sun out"   

       Now THERES an idea worthy of the Halfbakery. And we could feature that on our YouTube show.
normzone, Aug 02 2008

       //Tow Jupiter to Earth orbit//   

       Let us start building that tow now. Would come in useful for Saturn, too.
neelandan, Aug 02 2008

       [normzone], as it happens i have been thinking of sticking more stuff about this on YouTube, and i thought i could maybe illustrate this very idea with the help of Celestia.
nineteenthly, Aug 03 2008

       Everyone knows you don't tow gas giants, you shove them around with a fusion candle.   

       You put two atmosphere burning fusion rockets at either end of a long rod. Put one end deep in atmosphere and light both ends. Use station keeping thrusters to keep it pointed the direction you want to go.   

       If you're riding this around, you ride on the moons.   

       (And yes, my first exposure to this information was Shlock Mecenary, but the idea is older.)
MechE, Apr 25 2012

       Wouldn't you just bombard Jupiter with von Neumann machines until it reached critical mass? Of course, this would involve scavenging Saturn, Neptune, Uranus and any other loose objects in the solar system, I suspect.
UnaBubba, Apr 26 2012

       While you're at it, why not just FORCE Jupiter to orbit the Earth instead of the other way 'round? Stinking Jupiterarians always think they're the center of everything.
AusCan531, Apr 26 2012

       I'm not sure I'd like to be on Earth when Jupiter passes between here and the sun. The extra gravitational pull could make things a little messy.
UnaBubba, Apr 26 2012


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