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Vacuum Cow Catcher

You're all going to be so disappointed when you read the idea.
  [vote for,

As I have a librarian for a flatmate, I vacuum only rarely but when I do, I continually run over the flex. So I propose an attachment designed to eliminate this small but annoying, er, annoyance.

Fit to the base of any upright vacuum cleaner a plastic lip, jutting from the front and side, running parallel to the floor. The lip is sprung and will, when activated by the ergonomically placed trigger, allow the vacuumer to lift the flex away from the spinning cylinders on the underneath.

Expert vacuum cow catcherers will by perfect thumb twitch timing, be able to make the flex dance in time to the music in their heads.

my face your, May 22 2003

homemade calf vacuum http://www.geocitie..._wax/calfvacuum.htm
[thumbwax, Oct 17 2004]

bull bars http://images.googl...bars%22&sa=N&tab=wi
Clip these onto the vacuum for instant style and robustness. [Jinbish, Oct 17 2004]


       Sorry, what is the flex?
waugsqueke, May 22 2003

       By flex, i'm a assuming you mean the power cord. (you're british aren't you? LOL) Well....over here across the pond the more expensive models come with a cord rectracting mechanism which will negate the need for a "cow catcher" as you so eloquently described it. Although they don't work very well, i'm sure that this is teir feeble response for the problem you're describing.
justadesigner, May 22 2003

       Yup "flex" = "power cord." Apologies for terminological parochialism.
my face your, May 22 2003

       If you build in the functionality to actually catch a cow, in a vacuum you've got my vote.
silverstormer, May 22 2003

       Ah. Glad you clarified, I thought you were talking about the hose.   

       Working the cord is a bit of an art form. You just need to vacuum more often and practice. You hold the cord deftly in one hand, and it's all in the wrist, almost like fly fishing. You can plant that cord exactly where you want it (and not where you don't).
waugsqueke, May 22 2003

       video: cow, legs skyward, eyes abulge, tumbling to your vac
audio: sound of plastic bag whomping onto vac hose
lurch, May 22 2003

       Vacuum Cow Catcher? That sounds like a great job! Rounding up space-suited steers on the Moon by day, trying futilely to play the harmonica in a vacuum through a bubble helmet by night, around whatever space-equivalent there might be to a campfire - that's the life for me.   

       Your cable-flipping attachment is also good. +.
friendlyfire, May 22 2003

       I thought this was going to be the answer to removing those darned pesky 'carpet cows' from my living room.
X2Entendre, May 22 2003


       Does your Vacuum Cow regurgitate the dust?
FloridaManatee, May 22 2003

       I thought that maybe it would be for removing lampreys and the like from sea cows.
Ride'm cow bouy, Yee hargh.

       I thought this might be the absolute _biggest_ model ever offered by Hoover.
Cedar Park, May 22 2003

       Best to start with calves - so I did an illo - industrial style.
thumbwax, May 23 2003

       explain why your flatmates job has anything to do with your cleaning arrangements? or does she bring her job home with her?
po, May 23 2003

       Can it play music as well, rather than just have it in your head?
saker, May 23 2003

       I told you you were all going to be disappointed.   

       [thumb], your illo looks like a still from an early-90s cheesy raver music video. Most excellent.   

       [po], originally the idea text said "fastidious librarian" but I later discovered that 'fastidious' has a certain negative connotation - one that was not intended (least of all because my flatmate could kick my runty ass into next week) - so I took it out, believing the fact that librarians are, by and large, not fond of dust to be widely known. She vacuums often ==> I vacuum rarely.
I don't think she brings her work home with her, though. Unless at night she secretly catalogues the condiments in the fridge, sticking miniature Dewey decimal labels to the jars, illuminated only by the yellowy glow of the fridge light.

       [saker], yeah, it can play music. Something cow-centric. Inspiral Carpets, probably. Or The KLF.
my face your, May 23 2003

       I was thinking that you had to be quiet all the time - and she said sssshhhh! everytime the noisy vacuum came out.
po, May 23 2003

       A slightly different idea could be to have vacuum 'bull bars'. Rather than to control the 'flex' of the machine they would be used more for posing and ramming into objects/houshelod pets.
Jinbish, May 23 2003

       I had visions of a steam locomotive charging across the prairie with several bemused looking cows stuck to the front at odd angles.
egbert, May 23 2003

       I prefer my idea of a clutched beater brush. Same intent, but works for rug fringe too.
phoenix, May 23 2003


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