Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Faster than a stationary bullet.

idea: add, search, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,



vigilante





When I Take The Floor
(cf. When I'm Sixty-Four; The Beatles)


When I get bored, start posting in there,
Hanging with the crowd.
Will I post a fusion-powered custard plant?
Read [EvilPickel]’s laughable rant?

If I stay up til quarter to 3
Linking til I’m sore.
Will you all read me, don’t [m-f-d] me,
When I take the floor.

You’ll be baking too,
And if your idea stinks,
I will fishbone you.

[‘Bubba], [RodsTiger], [bristolz] and [po]:
There’s a daunting four.
Will I think of something that is half-baked soon?
Apostrophe shooter? Hullaballoon?

Inflatable Car by [FloridaManatee],
Who could ask for more?
Will you all read me, don’t [m-f-d] me,
When I take the floor.

Every day we log in to see
What is posted on the site, hoping [Beauxeault]’s here.
We shall (we shall make) make this our homepage.
But if [autoboner]’s in,
He will fishbone you.

Send me an anno, post me a link,
Stating point of view.
Indicate a pastry if today’s the day,
Yours sincerely, baking away.

Send me a crust for Neutronium Shoes:
“They’re forever yours.”
Will you all read me, don’t [m-f-d] me,
When I take the floor.




Another Post Earns A Crust
(cf. Another One Bites The Dust; Queen).


[Steve DeGroof] posts warily on the site,
‘Bout burglars in a hole.
Makes a Switchback of incredible height,
Annotations ready to go.

Are you ready? Are you ready for this?
Are you posting “That’s really neat!”.
Straight from the mind of the [hippo],
Comes Schrodinger's Toilet Seat.

Another post earns a crust.
Another post earns a crust.
And [Vernon] posts long, and [Vernon] posts long.
Another post earns a crust.
Hey, I’ll give a pastry too,
Another post earns a crust.

How do you think I'm going to get along,
If the œB’s ever gone?
It took all the spare time I ever had,
But at least I wasn’t alone.

So you ‘boned me, are you satisfied?
I know I can stand the heat.
Next time I’ll conceptualise
Buying tofu by the sheet.

Chorus

Another post earns a crust.
Another post earns a crust.
Another post earns a crust.
Another post earns a crust.

Plenty of us want to hurt a man:
[autoboner]’s going down.
Help me beat him
Let’s unseat him
We’ll all treat him bad and cleave him
While he's down.

But I'm posting, and I'm linking for you.
Now the œB’s back on its feet.
[jutta] and [po] and [UnaBubba],
The ‘Bakery seems complete.




This Post Is Tragic
(cf. You Can Do Magic; America)


Should never have posted this thing.
And then [blissmiss],
She said she couldn't take it.
It's ended up being
So, so tragic.
Was posting happily,
And then you saw this

You couldn't believe it.
You anno'd first,
And [m-f-d]'d it.
Said to myself
"What's that all about?"
Then I knew there could be no doubt...

This post is tragic.
Doesn't have anything that you desire.
Tragic, hard drive
Deserves to burn in an electrical fire.

I knew darn well
My credibility fell
When you looked this way,
Got that glaze'd look in your eyes:
That pile of 'bones is here to stay.

Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo-doo

Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo-doo

Now I'm back again,
But baking good posts is still a pain.
And when the night
It gets so late
When I can't sleep
Again I come to see
I log in, right
The pain reappears
Who would believe it
Seeing this post restarts my tears...

This post is tragic.
Doesn't have anything that you desire.
Tragic, hard drive
Deserves to burn in an electrical fire.

I knew darn well
My credibility fell
When you looked this way.
Got that glaze'd look in your eyes:
That pile of 'bones is here to stay.

Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo-doo

And If I wanted to
I could simply delete.
But (I) never believed in that,
Although it's so clear to me...

This post is tragic.
Doesn't have anything that you desire.
Tragic, hard drive
Deserves to burn in an electrical fire.

I knew darn well
My credibility fell
When you looked this way.
Got that glaze'd look in your eyes.
That pile of 'bones is here to stay.

Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo-doo

Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, dit
Doo-da-doo-doo, doo-dit
Doo-da-doo-doo-doo

Print it out
And throw it in a fire.
Print it out
And throw it in a fire.
Print it out
And throw it in a fire.

(Fade)


[Apr 16 2002, last modified Jun 28 2009]

   
(+4) Auto-Stiffening Brush
(+5) Automotive Anti-Static Electricity Grid Supplementation
(-8)(-8) Ball-less Driving Range
(+3) Custard Running Track
(+3) Dry Ice Fun Park
(+6, -2) Eternal Soles
(+1) Fractal-odometer
(+10, -4) Möbius Newspaper
(+5, -2) Magnesium Flares
(+4) Memory Velcro
(+9, -7) Paper Bullets
(+3) Poodle Clips
(+5, -1) Scrubbing Bus
(+2) Self-cleaning Skyscrapers
(+2) Skewed Bars
(-1) Vapour Deposition Toast Topper
(+5, -2) Waxophone
(+9, -2) Windscreen Wiper Umbrellas
 

back: main index