Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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A funeral earn

What happens in the crematorium?
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Many of my elderly mates have tin legs of costly titanium. [My best mate, my wife, has two.]

When they get cremated will the crematorium sell the metal?

Nobody would give me a straight answer when I rang a funeral director and a crematorium, so I propose a "hip" joint-solution to two burning problems

[1] finding a suitable container for one's ashes

[2] getting one's titanium back from the incinerator

I shall suggest to the crematorium management that they provide their tin-legged clients with an elegant titanium urn for their ashes!

Leg-note: I've never seen a tv doco titled "Behind the crematorium doors". How about it doco-makers?? I have a certain macabre interest in the theme even though I don't have tin legs.

But I've got these false teeth. Now ... about plastic recycling ...

rayfo, May 18 2001

Quote nabbed from here http://www.undertak...om/arrangetext.html
72% of U.K. is cremated - when dead, that is [thumbwax, May 18 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

News article about worried residents of crematoria neighbourhood http://www.metroact...ematorium-0135.html
[hippo, Jan 14 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Or cnnvert the compound into a bowling ball so you could still take aunty out for a spin.
rayfo, May 18 2001
  

       rayfro, always glad to see you.

IN WWII, the krematoria of Concentration camps were 4rd of death stages. 1st was malnourishment, 2nd was Gas Chambers, 3rd was removal of fillings. In the U.K., and one can assume in the U.S. and N.Z., "Crematorium regulations require that all fittings should be of a combustible material. Ferrous nails and screws do not burn and stay with the ashes until they are removed by a magnetic field. Precious metals are fused with other materials so that they are unrecognisable. The remains are reduced to a fine white bone ash and normally weigh between 5lb and 7lb. They are now in a state which permits them to be strewn."
thumbwax, Nov 02 2001
  

       How about a titanium ashtray... comes complete with the ashes!
Ala, Jan 14 2002
  

       You have a morbid sense of humo(u)r Ala.
thumbwax, Jan 14 2002
  

       Mining the dead for precious metals would at least stop people worrying about mercury fallout around crematoria (from vapourised fillings - see link).
hippo, Jan 14 2002
  

       I like [PeterSealy]'s idea, but I'd ask for the Lego version.   

       "Mommy, can I play with Grandpa?"
"Sure honey, just be sure to put him back on the fireplace when you're through."
phoenix, Jan 14 2002
  

       Thanks Thumby-baby .. So do you :)
Ala, Jan 19 2002
  

       Have a pastry for the puns
BunsenHoneydew, Feb 28 2004
  

       I would assume that the legs are hollow. Why not cremate your mate(s) and then inter them in their own leg?
GenYus, Mar 16 2004
  
      
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