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Agency-Issued Bread Protection Cages

Issued by the Bread Protection Agency
  (+10, -3)
(+10, -3)
  [vote for,
against]

Stop the horror today! Squished Bread has reached an all time high - affecting millions!

An innocent young woman goes to the grocery store, carefully arranging her shopping basket/trolley in such a way that the bread remains unharmed. After loading her car, she gets home, only to find that the bread has been crushed by a runaway canteloupe! Or, instead, when rouning a curve, the massive box of frozen cornydogs (or insert frozen food here) has shifted, resulting in a wheaty massacre!

A simple reinforced steel mesh cage the size of a standard loaf of bread (also available for french, raisin, and other different sized breads) with interlockability for muldiple loaves would protect the bread during transport in the store, in the car, and all the way home!

DesertFox, Jul 18 2006

Same but different Police_20Issue_20Doughnut_20Protector
Cuff 'im boys! [Jinbish, Jul 18 2006]

[link]






       Or you could put the bread in the glove compartment. You may have to squish it a little to fit but, hey, if that's the price of protecting your bread from harm then so be it.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jul 18 2006
  

       I suppose I'll just end up with crushed bread again, after I stuffed the bread protection cage with my strawberries, peaches, bananas, tomatoes...
zeno, Jul 18 2006
  

       good for transporting pigeons - bread in one cage, pigeon in the adjacent cage???.... parallel scene to film " Jaws" cage in the water discussion. +
xenzag, Jul 18 2006
  

       + great idea...the grocery store should supply them as the bagging boy puts my loaf of bread in with a dozen ears of corn...(he really did).
xandram, Jul 18 2006
  

       Why is it that the one thing that could benefit from packing in a rigid plastic clamshell is sold in a plastic bag?   

       One unsquished bun for you.
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 18 2006
  

       Better care in packing solves this problem much more easily. I always make sure bread and rolls are packed separately, and the bag handled carefully, on top of all other bags.
DrCurry, Jul 18 2006
  

       [DrCurry] I think we all know that the packing is important, but as DesertFox states, there is oftentimes a stray cantaloupe or 1/2 gallon of milk that escapes during transport and magically finds the loaf of bread to roll on top of....(well then he didn't say *magically* but I did)
xandram, Jul 18 2006
  

       //a stray cantaloupe//   

       Indiana Jones-esque.
Jinbish, Jul 18 2006
  

       Or you could try buying real bread instead of 'Skwushy' brand sooper-white bread.   

       Hint: pumpernickel is nigh-indestructible.
DrFever, Jul 18 2006
  

       My wheat bread has been crushes times aplenty.   

       Loaves are no match for the mighty watermelon.
DesertFox, Jul 18 2006
  

       What do you think of dwarf bread then [DrFever]?   

       [DrCurry], you remind me very much of [Pa'ave].
zeno, Jul 18 2006
  

       aren't strawberries and tomatoes more fragile than bread?   

       & eggs?   

       nothing I like better than bending a french loaf in half!
po, Jul 18 2006
  

       <nothing I like better than bending a french loaf in half!>   

       Now that's exercise! you must have buns of steel...   

       Well, actually the french bread would be the buns of steel. Your arm muscles, or whatever you use to bend the bread are probably pretty well cut too.
ye_river_xiv, Jul 19 2006
  

       Think outside the cage. Rather than protecting bread from squishing, invent...   

       a Squishable Toaster!   

       Squish it to the same weird shape as your bread, and you're away!
imaginality, Jul 19 2006
  

       [DrFever] I never buy squishy white bread and DesertFox is still right. It can happen to the best of breads.
xandram, Jul 19 2006
  

       I don't know where you get your milquetoast bread, the pumpernickel I buy will stop a bullet. Having a watermelon dropped on it from great height would possibly reduce its size by 5-10% at most.   

       It can also be used in combat similar to the dwarf bread referred to by [zeno].
DrFever, Jul 19 2006
  

       Baked and it is called rye bread. Rye doesn't crush that easy.
Pellepeloton, Apr 06 2007
  
      
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