Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Anti-Ouch Lego System

So your kids have to learn swearing at school
  (+92, -3)(+92, -3)(+92, -3)
(+92, -3)
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In households where small kids abound
There is an oft-repeated sound
A gasping and a muffled curse
A strangled sobbing for a nurse

If you live in a house like this
You'll know that with parental bliss
There comes a pain this state inflicts
Cos where there's kids, there's lego bricks.

No matter how often every day
You gather them, they get away
To skulk unseen and plot unchecked
And leap out when you least expect

When shoes are off they lurk like pike
Till you walk past and then they strike
You tread on them and curse afresh
And rub the imprint on your flesh

What price would we not gladly pay
To see the bricks all put away
Without exception, every one
Well, here's a thought to ponder on

It could, it would be all so simple
To collect those bricks with dimples
If Lego would agree to stick
A metal strip in every brick

A wand to be used in conjunction
Has a strong magnetic function
Switch on to use and sweep the floor
Beneath the chairs, behind the door

See the lego pieces leap
Like flying fish or bounding sheep
And to the magnet rod affix
Like cubist candy floss... but bricks

Once you have retrieved a crop
Hold over box, switch off to drop
And wander without fear of pain
Your house, barefoot, at night again

squeak, Mar 31 2005

how legos are made http://www.popandco.com/archive/moab/
[ato_de, Jun 23 2005]

[link]






       Bravo! Bun for the summary alone!
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 31 2005
  

       just beautifull!
zeno, Mar 31 2005
  

       squeaky clean fun
po, Mar 31 2005
  

       [po] Squeaky clean? I've never thought of my name in that way, somehow, and now I'm rather worried that people will get the wrong impression. Please note, I am not an overly tidy person, I'm just rather attached to using my feet.
squeak, Mar 31 2005
  

       thats what neil armstrong said before i severed his feet with a pruning saw, and licked the moon fungus from beneath his toe nails.
benfrost, Mar 31 2005
  

       squeak - ha ha!   

       benfrost - ha ha ha ha!   

       Buns all round
energy guy, Mar 31 2005
  

       +
Zimmy, Mar 31 2005
  

       I think I speak
for all, dear squeak,
that what you've done
deserves a bun. +
k_sra, Mar 31 2005
  

       Lovely.
moomintroll, Mar 31 2005
  

       sharp sided legos
falling like bright colored leaves
turn to sticky buns
ldischler, Mar 31 2005
  

       pointy cornered bricks
left out and uncollected
parents scream in pain
  

       Don't know how feasible this is, but [+] for the poetry.
Freefall, Mar 31 2005
  

       Wow!
0- 2.5 buns in less than 24 hours! Neat, [squeak].
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 01 2005
  

       Gee, thanks guys. Guess what I trod on this morning.
squeak, Apr 01 2005
  

       Apparently, the correct spelling of LEGO is entirely in capitals. Makes it more intense. LEGO!
harderthanjesus, Apr 01 2005
  

       Bravo squeak. Bravo.   

       [htj] You mean LEGO™
hippo, Apr 03 2005
  

       My dad used to step on our LEGO all the time, then at a friends house he witnessed the kids playing with it on a blanket.   

       When done they just folded up the lego in the blanket and tied it off for later use.   

       No more pain.
Giblet, Apr 03 2005
  

       Yeah, we tried that when I was a kid (and LEGO fiend). In my own experience it was found that the universal nature of the marvellous toy (limited only by imagination, as the tagline goes) also applied to its location. The blanket, sadly, was never sufficiently ubiquitous.   

       Men with yellow heads
Smile knowingly from the floor;
I suggest slippers.
moomintroll, Apr 03 2005
  

       On TV they read halfbakery.com, sprayed LEGOs with magnetic spray paint, and they were magnetic. Not sure about how that affected the interlockability.
joeforker, Jun 22 2005
  

       [joeforker], about that magnetic paint, what happens when the little ones start sucking the LEGO?
oldchina, Jun 22 2005
  

       [oldchina] obviously you get magnetic kids, which would be another fine halfbakery idea.
joeforker, Jun 22 2005
  

       They Baked this on TV last night. Incredible Idea. You get my bun +
Xcubeds, Jun 22 2005
  

       Oh, but what about those with magnetic feet? What about those?!?!   

       Seriously, though, now you should think about putting mag. strips on all your buns to clean up your earnings!   

       [+]
daseva, Jun 22 2005
  

       Tears of joy, not of pain! Bun for you!
DesertFox, Jun 22 2005
  

       Charming poetry (I myself have given up on it).   

       +
soliloquy, Jun 22 2005
  

       He should write a book :)
Thoughtnaper_1, Jun 23 2005
  

       To write that much in rhyme
for me, takes too much time
So I drafted this reply
In hopes to let time fly
And seeing as I have no job
and am looking at stores to rob
I ought to write my resume
which is what I intended to do today
Yet at the half baked cite my time was spent
Instead of trying to make the rent
  

       I like your poem and your idea to boot
LEGOs are awesome but one can never keep track of the tiny plastic dealies
  

       How did I miss this one?
Featured on G4TV.
  

       Nice category, btw.
RayfordSteele, Aug 19 2005
  

       Toss it in the oven! [+]
Gryph, Aug 21 2005
  

       Oh very well done! [+]
Dog, Aug 21 2005
  

       Fab.
elhigh, Aug 22 2005
  

       oooh, I wish I could rhyme as well as you!.
chocolateraindrops, Aug 22 2005
  

       nicely done!
quantum_flux, Oct 23 2007
  

       I can't beleive thhat I missed this one. Standing on LEGO bricks used to infuriate my parents. I can still see their expression: scrunched up face - followed by glowering look at me...   

       (+)
Jinbish, Oct 23 2007
  

       Great, well-written and just great!
evilpenguin, Oct 23 2007
  
      
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