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Apocalypse deactivated locks

All locks and ignition switches unlock during an apocalyptic event
  (+4, -2)
(+4, -2)
  [vote for,

When going through various apocalyptic scenarios in my head, locks are something that always cause me great difficulty. E.g., during a nuclear incident, an abandoned vehicle is something that might allow me to transport myself and my dinghy to the coast so that I may float safely to Denmark. Since the invention of engine immobilisers, the disaster-movie staple of knowing how to hot-wire a car is no longer enough.

Every car door and key-operated ignition switch, as well as the locks on all buildings, will contain a device which causes it to unlock in the event of an apocalypse. The locks can be reset afterwards by someone who possesses the original key, in case the owner is still around.

idris83, Apr 08 2011

For [bungston]... http://www.dailymot...-last-v8_videogames
[Jinbish, Apr 08 2011]


       You're approaching your post-apocalyptic disaster scenarios with a legal-objective civilization-in-tact mentality instead of the more likely clutching-a-rock and swinging-madly-at- everything mentality, that should easily get you into most places.
rcarty, Apr 08 2011

       How will the car know it's the apocalypse? What if the apocalypse involves nuclear weapons and all the electronics are fried? Best to get yourself a good old diesel mercedes from the 70s if you really want post- apocalyptic transportation.   

       Or a unimog.
DIYMatt, Apr 08 2011

       What if the apocalypse comes in the form of zombie road- hogs? What if I'm apocalypted and don't want someone else to steal my car? And what [DIYMatt] said.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 08 2011

       In the event of an apocalypse the only thing you have to be prepared for is the realization that everything and everyone you know and love will be gone. And how to swing a rock, hard.
rcarty, Apr 08 2011

       That set up would more likely result in someone killing you and easily robbing you of your car. Or if they are kind, hazing you out until the lock deactivates then resuscitating you, but leaving you pantsless and shivering at the side of the road.
rcarty, Apr 08 2011

       One person's apocalypse is another person's spate of bad weather. Apocalypse is in the eye of the beholder. For example, idris83, when there was that bad summer for gnats a few years back, you were sure that was the apocalypse. Sun looks like sackcloth, moon looks like blood, for only a few minutes on an otherwise beautiful morning, idris83 is clutching-a-rock and talking about the End Time. Zombies, but not many, no-one you know, easily dispatched - and yep, there goes idris83 again - "Goosey Loosy! Ducky Lucky! I want to drive the last of the V8 Interceptors to the coast! It would be a shame to blow it up!"   

       I think the problem is the whole concept of apocalypse as an absolute rather than a matter of degree.
bungston, Apr 08 2011

       One person's apocalypse is another person's plot device in a heist movie... {Ocean's Thirteen}
Jinbish, Apr 08 2011

       Yes, but now we have bottled water as well.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 08 2011

       Oh c'mon. You just know someone would whip up a premature apocalyption device and go around unlocking whatever they wanted.   

WcW, Apr 08 2011

pertinax, Apr 08 2011

       // clutching-a-rock and swinging-madly-at- everything mentality, that should easily get you into most places. //   

       If you can start a car with an engine immobiliser using only a rock, I'll give you 10p.   

       How many disaster movies would have ended in the first 10 minutes had the protagonist not chanced upon a car with keys already in the ignition or located conveniently nearby, or that was so insecure that a few seconds of fumbling under the dash board was enough to get it going?   

       Wouldn't you prefer to live your afterlife haunting your old car, vicariously watching over Milla Jovovich and Mel Gibson as they speed away from the looming spire of fallout dust to the sanctuary of Bigbury-on-Sea where they will instantly commandeer an unlocked fishing boat to Tenerife, instead of seeing them slowly irradiated in a Peckham garage trying to figure out how to rewire an engine immobiliser?   

       // I want to know that if it takes me an hour to get to my car (say it happens while I'm at work and I commuted by foot or bus and have to walk back) my car will still be there when I get to my driveway. //   

       But why would you walk for an hour fending off triffids and daleks when you could get into one of the hundreds of now ownerless and unlocked cars parked along your route? For it to count as an apocalypse, a majority of people will have perished, meaning there will be more than enough cars and buildings to be shared amongst the survivors.   

       If you are within remote-locking distance of your car, you can still secure it. If you are further than this, it's unlikely you will ever need it again.   

       // that bad summer for gnats a few years back, you were sure that was the apocalypse //   


       // {click} //   

       I suppose, if implemented, this would cause the already unsettling sound of your front door unlocking to become infinitely more terrifying.
idris83, Apr 09 2011

       Oh ye naysayers. The end of the world is obviously nigh and now would be a good time to start preparing. Any system that eases the transition to an EOTW scenario deserves plaudits and/or buns. Perhaps a council could be established who would rule on whether an event constitutes the EOTW or just a minor local disturbance. The council could push the master unlocking button. Or did the Mayan chief astronomer discover spider solitaire and never finish the job.
The_Saint, Apr 10 2011

       The apocalypse is supposed to be the triumph of Good over Evil, no? From the Communist perspective, apocalyptically deactivated locks would produce exactly that effect, by abolishing private property. Paradise for the good, and punishment for the wicked, in one tidy package.
mouseposture, Apr 10 2011

       Creates a further point of weakness during artificially created or non alpaco-lips events.
4whom, Apr 10 2011

       Perhaps, when the apocalocks are triggered to unlock, the car / building's alarm will also start wailing. This will give the owners a heads-up that their car / building is now unlocked, so they can go and reset the locks if they wish; just as someone would reset the alarm on their car if a cat jumped on it in the night. Maybe there could be an optional 60-second delay between start of alarm and unlocking.   

       This would both mitigate the potential losses that would be caused by a false alarm, as well as acting as a distributed air-raid / fallout siren system.
idris83, Apr 10 2011

       False positve fatigue, or "cry-wolf" syndrome...   

       Not really knocking the idea, I would actually like to see how the survivors of the next ELE try and explain their existance (due mainly to self-unlocking vehicles) within some religious context. heh heh!
4whom, Apr 10 2011

       No way! My locksmithing skills and my car will be two of my major skills in an apocalypse!   

       I just realized I also have a two weeks supply of spaghetti-o's. hotdamn! Im going to be an alpha male when the armageddon comes!
bob, Apr 10 2011

       In case of apocalypse:   

       First option: enter house. Find dead body. Take keys off body. Take car in driveway.   

       Second option: learn how to hotwire a car. It's not that hard.   

       Ditto on entering a house, it's simple enough to get a crowbar and pop a door. Very few lock type protections are any good if there isn't a reasonable chance of the police showing up in 5 minutes.
MechE, Apr 10 2011


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