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Apple Accelerator

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(+4)
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Everyone knows that Apples taste more delicious if bitten into within moments of being plucked from the tree in the orchard than they do if grouped and shipped via conventional transportation and distribution networks.

This is a network of tubing that makes near instant intercity apple delivery possible in our time.

Think compressed air driven drive up banking containers except on a massive massive scale engineered just for delivering apples from the tree branch directly to the consumers mouth at great distance.

In the orchard there is a boom mounted tubal arm that is maneuvered by the orchard worker when an order for a fresh picked apple is placed. Like a giant vacuum he suctions an apple from the tree under such great pressure that the selected apple is propelled all the way to the desired city apple expeller port.

the expeller end of the tube is engineered to decelerate the apple appropriately so as not to damage the recipient at the moment of apple acceptance.

vfrackis, Oct 20 2014

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       This is great, and it's exactly the thing that extremists around the world would rally against.
the porpoise, Oct 20 2014
  

       If we scaled this down, could we transmit olives via Ethernet?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 20 2014
  

       Kalamatatatatata
calum, Oct 20 2014
  

       Gladys Knight and ?   

       That might explain the slow wine drips.
normzone, Oct 20 2014
  

       Hmm, well the token ring network was prototyped using mustard seeds (having very little inertia), so maybe it is possible to scale up, but then it'd just be another Apple product.
not_morrison_rm, Oct 20 2014
  

       I am not sure it's the time, as opposed to the vicinity. Perhaps the eater should be sucked along the tube to the orchard, instead?
pocmloc, Oct 21 2014
  

       So disappointed... Imagined Macs on a trebuchet.
Ling, Oct 21 2014
  

       Heh
blissmiss, Oct 21 2014
  

       Better would be a cultural effort to prize the aspects of conventionally shipped apple. Love the one you're with.
bungston, Oct 21 2014
  

       An Apple trebuchet would accelerate apples (fruit or computer) over castle walls.
popbottle, Oct 21 2014
  

       I see, a '99 powermac for heavy structural damage, a bucket of ipod Nanos as a grapeshot, nice.
bs0u0155, Oct 22 2014
  

       Dont some need to be sun ripened like bananas or pears? or was that my imagination?.   

       Im going to go experiment this. Back in a few weeks!
bob, Oct 24 2014
  

       ...or you could put apple trees on the top of sky scrapers and then put a drop net down the side so when the apples fall they will safely land ads gift next to pedestrians.
bob, Oct 24 2014
  

       //apple trees on the top of sky scrapers//
<Apple vendor>
(Catch) "Fresh apples!"
(Catch) "Fresh apples!"
(Miss...) "Er, fresh apple sauce!"
</Av>
neutrinos_shadow, Oct 27 2014
  
      
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