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[marked–for–deletion] absolute bollocks, completely lacking in invention. |
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...anything to fill the userpage "eh"? |
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For you I have my grannie's footstool sitting behind the
door... |
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Still waiting for [coproc]'s fishbone to attack. Clearly not trained properly. |
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Is the idea for the sign, or the actual furniture? If you can create real furniture that will identify and safely immobilise and intruder, then this gets my bun, just as soon as you explain how. |
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If it's just the text for a sign, I've always thought "Danger Extreme Biohazard", "Beware of the Ant" or "This Property is Protected by Snipers-R-Us. Please call 0800-555-666 for assistance or to report a pick-up" would be quite the deterrent. |
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A recent psychologists's report commissioned by the
Home Office in the UK revealed that one in ten burglars
expressed a fear of becoming entangled with folding
chairs when making good their escape. Now go and fetch
a stick and I'll throw it for you little doggies. |
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"Hello. police?"
"Yes"
"Some bastard has stolen all of my attack furniture."
"Were there any signs of a struggle?"
"Umm, not really."
"Well then, it might be someone the furniture knows. Had you thought of that? It might have been borrowed by a family member."
"O-o-oh..." |
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"Oh, no. He's just flossing." |
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I don't find this the least bit amusing. Is it me? |
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range of animal based items suitable to become soft silk
purses 1 pig's ear 2 lemur tail golf club sleeves 3 turtle
shell computer case 4 elephant testicle sack bowling ball
holder.... had enough yet? |
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//burlgar //
what is burlgar, some type of burlap cigar or an internet burger of some sort? is it good? can i have some? |
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A burlgar is an inturder who takes your thnigs. |
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Oh, JESUS, [wagster]... I laughed until I threw up, at that. |
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im glad to know i played a small part in that. |
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This idea takes us into Dr Who territory I'm pleased to say. "Terror of the Autons" featured a plastic 'attack' chair that wrapped itself around it's victim and suffocated them to death. Classic stuff. |
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"A burlgar is an inturder who takes your
thnigs." |
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At first i thought you were just an idiot
... but then i realised ... and now i can't
stop laughing (God i hope that wasn't
just a typo). |
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Don't like my idea? good ! Means you won't be tempted. I
had one of these signs outside my former home for years
and my house has never been broken into - at one time
every single property on my street was robbed apart from
mine. |
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Neither do I, but I'd like to. |
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It's true, a house with a sign in the window... ANY SIGN... is less likely to be burglarized than a house without a sign in the window. I suspect burglars are deathly afraid of reading. |
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As to the furniture, Definitely! You should train them folding chairs to attack, or at least set them near the windows. They make a terrible racket. |
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