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Attack of the Giant Jizz Monster

You Can't Wipe This Out With A Tissue
  (+5, -4)
(+5, -4)
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Every day, skijillions of spermatozoa are emitted, only to be frustrated from achieving their divinely-mandated destiny. Instead, they end their brief existence encased in latex, or entangled in fibers of paper tissue.

But one day, when an unscrupulous garbage contractor dumps a load of hot radioactive waste into a residential landfill, the little fellas get a second chance. Gaining sentience and mobility, they realize that their best chance is to work together. Slowly, they accumulate, eventually oozing out of the landfill as a twelve-foot-long glob of unstoppable silvery goo...

... that is looking for FERTILE EGGS.

Soundtrack by 10cc.

smendler, Nov 17 2015

oglaf cumsprite http://oglaf.com/cumsprite/
[calum, Nov 17 2015]

what [travbm]'s talking about http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jizz
[notexactly, Nov 19 2015]

Need a tissue? https://www.youtube...watch?v=6-pxxkx4ub8
Boxed at the end. [popbottle, Nov 21 2015]

Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html
Lary Niven's 1969 paper, a must-read for jiz monster enthusiasts [CraigD, Nov 28 2015]

Sexy Losers http://sexylosers.com/strips.html#3
Damned funny stuff. And the entry of the word "fap" into the English language. [Voice, Nov 28 2015]

[link]






       oglaf cum sprite
calum, Nov 17 2015
  

       This is not really an idea. More of an adult goosebumps book.
evilpenguin, Nov 17 2015
  

       Is this in the Amazon, or some other woman?
4and20, Nov 17 2015
  

       I'm surprised if this hasn't already been made in Japan.
Voice, Nov 17 2015
  

       I like Jizz it was on Star Wars, it was like Jazz but instead of making people depressed it was all about making them feel better.
travbm, Nov 17 2015
  

       I second " oglaf - cum sprite " .... it's a great read.
normzone, Nov 17 2015
  

       Gross, no, bleh. +
blissmiss, Nov 21 2015
  

       Maybe it should be attack of the Cum monster or Spermeon Or Cumzilla Versus Godzilla.
travbm, Nov 21 2015
  

       Attack of the Giant Jizz Monster is a stunning portraiture of the sexual ideal and the generalized will to create superman, and the random and the infrastructural substrate that brings froth.
guncandy, Nov 21 2015
  

       " Mike's Left Hand " and " Chie Samachi " for on topic, but almost all of " Sexy Loser's " is gold.
normzone, Nov 28 2015
  
      
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