h a l f b a k e r y
Contrary to popular belief
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Nobody appreciates a good knurl more than the
Traditionally, a knurler was a highly-skilled employee
the aid of his quartz-tipped briding-point, would
carve those strangely attractive yet functional regular
metal surfaces, turning
them into everyday works of art.
Nowadays, of course, knurling is done using machine-
tools such as
the Knurlmaster, usually under computer control.
Howevertheless, contemporary knurlers are missing a
Modern machine tools typically have resolutions down in
micron range, and can be controlled quickly and
This opens up the option of making knurling that is more
decoratively functional. An audio signal, fed to the
machine, can be used to modulate the knurl depth. The
Audio Knurling can be played back simply by tracing a
metal swarf along the helical path of the knurl.
Of course, most knurling consists of multiple parallel
running in two opposite helical directions (known, should
wondering, as Nepalese knurling, after a
where it originated). This provides the opportunity to
independent pieces of music (left and right handed),
multiple tracks, to be played using a suitably fine-
Finally, it is worth pointing out that the threads of
bolts can accommodate simple monophonic recordings,
particularly bass-rich tracks providing extra grip.
Post-finally, I should perhaps mention that we have
prototypified a rifled rifle barrel which, on firing,
0.3msec excerpt from Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries.
||silly, impractical, and pointless. [+]
||Seems a fanciful idea, and I'm not convinced there's a
demand, but // Post-finally // is one take-away I shall be
putting to use.
||//Seems a fanciful idea, and I'm not convinced
there's a demand, but//
||Wouldn't the rifle barrel be knurled recursively? That is imbued with the sound of a rotating rifle shell at varying stages along the barrel.
||It could encode the sound of a swishing sword, just
to confuse the enemy.
||The screw nut bolt thread thingy is interesting.
Imagine a special
highly critical usage, which may justify insanely
expensive costing for
nuts and bolts due to the importance of it all, and
such. Maybe for
sending the first manned fast breeder nuclear reactor
interplanetary ballistic missile combine harvester
system to Mars, or
something, where mistakes are untolerated.
||All project-specific nut and bolt parts should have
encoded audio that
somehow cancelled out so as to reveal silence when
screwed in or
out, and consequently, the audio information were
not to wear out
much over the operational life, due to the match.
The modulation also
provides friction to grip better.
||The highly skilled screwing person could tell if it is
the correct bolt
and nut for each other: If it were an incorrect match,
the audio does
not cancel out, and emits a clear sound as the screw
such as incorrect, or ow!.
||Obviously, continuing to attempt the
mismatch will continue to emit the audio complaint,
and will continue
to wreck the thread because it is incorrect, so the
wear on the audio
component is hardly the worst problem being faced
at this time.
Dispose of the incorrect pair and start again with a
||Congratulations on inventing the cylindrical
phonograph, Mr. Edison.
||[+], naturally! Anything that audibly enhances our lives, particularly silly and pointless things with dubious interpretations of "enhances", will always get a plus.
||Perhaps an appropriately fine-toothed second hand in a continuous motion clock could sweep out 59+ second musical excerpts from across the face. All my clocks play today is 4'33".