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Audio knurling

  [vote for,

Nobody appreciates a good knurl more than the engineers at MaxCo.

Traditionally, a knurler was a highly-skilled employee who, with the aid of his quartz-tipped briding-point, would painstakingly carve those strangely attractive yet functional regular grooves into metal surfaces, turning them into everyday works of art.

Nowadays, of course, knurling is done using machine- tools such as the Knurlmaster, usually under computer control.

Howevertheless, contemporary knurlers are missing a trick. Modern machine tools typically have resolutions down in the micron range, and can be controlled quickly and precisely.

This opens up the option of making knurling that is more than just decoratively functional. An audio signal, fed to the knurling machine, can be used to modulate the knurl depth. The resulting Audio Knurling can be played back simply by tracing a piece of metal swarf along the helical path of the knurl.

Of course, most knurling consists of multiple parallel lines, usually running in two opposite helical directions (known, should you be wondering, as Nepalese knurling, after a misunderstanding on where it originated). This provides the opportunity to encode two independent pieces of music (left and right handed), each with multiple tracks, to be played using a suitably fine- toothed comb.

Finally, it is worth pointing out that the threads of screws and bolts can accommodate simple monophonic recordings, with particularly bass-rich tracks providing extra grip.

Post-finally, I should perhaps mention that we have recently prototypified a rifled rifle barrel which, on firing, produces a 0.3msec excerpt from Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries.

MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 22 2015


       silly, impractical, and pointless. [+]
Voice, Sep 22 2015

       Seems a fanciful idea, and I'm not convinced there's a demand, but // Post-finally // is one take-away I shall be putting to use.
Tulaine, Sep 22 2015

       //Seems a fanciful idea, and I'm not convinced there's a demand, but//   

       but?? "and", shirley.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 22 2015

       Wouldn't the rifle barrel be knurled recursively? That is imbued with the sound of a rotating rifle shell at varying stages along the barrel.
wjt, Sep 25 2015

       It could encode the sound of a swishing sword, just to confuse the enemy.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 26 2015

       The screw nut bolt thread thingy is interesting. Imagine a special highly critical usage, which may justify insanely expensive costing for nuts and bolts due to the importance of it all, and such. Maybe for sending the first manned fast breeder nuclear reactor and deep-sea interplanetary ballistic missile combine harvester system to Mars, or something, where mistakes are untolerated.   

       All project-specific nut and bolt parts should have encoded audio that somehow cancelled out so as to reveal silence when screwed in or out, and consequently, the audio information were not to wear out much over the operational life, due to the match. The modulation also provides friction to grip better.   

       The highly skilled screwing person could tell if it is the correct bolt and nut for each other: If it were an incorrect match, the audio does not cancel out, and emits a clear sound as the screw is tightened — such as “incorrect”, or “ow!”.   

       Obviously, continuing to attempt the mismatch will continue to emit the audio complaint, and will continue to wreck the thread because it is incorrect, so the wear on the audio component is hardly the worst problem being faced at this time. Dispose of the incorrect pair and start again with a correct pair.
Ian Tindale, Sep 26 2015

       Congratulations on inventing the cylindrical phonograph, Mr. Edison.
jtgd, Sep 26 2015

       [+], naturally! Anything that audibly enhances our lives, particularly silly and pointless things with dubious interpretations of "enhances", will always get a plus.   

       Perhaps an appropriately fine-toothed second hand in a continuous motion clock could sweep out 59+ second musical excerpts from across the face. All my clocks play today is 4'33".
absterge, Sep 30 2015


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