h a l f b a k e r y
It's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.
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Her: bleached blond streaked hair, couple of tattoos, Daisy Dukes with more than ample "saddle bags" hanging out, halter top, flip-flops, and 6 kids hanging off of her all by different men (none of which were Ben). |
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Him: blue Wrangles with holes in them, "wife-beater" shirt, Dunlap disease very evident, chain from front belt loop to wallet in back pocket, black "motorcycle" boots, hair short in front but 4 inches past neck in back, 3 days growth of beard, holding unemployment card in one hand and a Milwaukee's Best in the other. |
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Me: bumper sticker that reads "Stupid People Shouldn't Breed" (not that it does any good in this area) |
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Accessories: Babs and Ben's Dream Trailer Park |
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Ben's pickup: '65 F100 with gunrack and six different panel colours. Raised suspension and oversized tyres and a bumper sticker which reads, "I give way for God and no-one else" |
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Does Ben have a full set of teeth? |
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TW, wasn't there a Trailer Trash Barbie and a Bull Dyke Barbie 7 or 8 yrs ago? |
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Ben's Rap Sheet.
Robbery with violence.
Assault occasioning grievous bodily harm.(3 counts)
Attempted rape. (Charge brought by Babs and later dropped)
Possession of a concealed firearm. (2 counts)
Carnal knowledge of a minor (2 counts)
Drink driving (5 convictions)
Shopstealing (16 counts, plus 13 under the age of 10 years)
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My, aren't we a bunch of elitists? |
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However, having spent four years in Susen's neck of the woods, I have to concede that we (me and Susen, at least, probably anyone else literate enough to log into the Halfbakery) have good reason to be elitist. |
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Need to have a TrashTV studio playset, so Babs and Ben can go on TV to talk about how Babs slept with Ben's 7 brothers and 2 fathers, and how Ben slept with Babs' sisters and half-brother. |
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Gotta have both missing several teeth. |
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Babs drives a 1983 Ford Escort, with the plastic spare tire permanently on the right front wheel. |
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Accessory pack includes: tattoos (marijuana leaves, dixie flags, elvis, and female body parts prominently featured), crack pipe, picnic pack (styrofoam cooler, Keystone beer, fried pork rinds), assorted small children and other pets, and a National Enquirer subscription. |
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Mephista: No chain. Rednecks never chain their dawgs. |
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Of course not, they can only too readily relate at the level of the dog to enforced captivity. |
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ah susen, you've discovered the joy of the mullet |
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but what's dunlap disease? |
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Dunlap disease: When your gut "dun lapped" over your belt-buckle. |
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Very good [TM]! [ciccia] it's a common disease due to excessive consumption of beer and junk food. It's really gross.... |
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Accessory: Broken-down old couch to go on the front porch or outside trailer home (I didn't live in the US very long, but even houses in nice parts of Silicon Valley have the broken-down old couch on the porch!). Also, see links. |
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While my own apple-knocker roots run deep into the foothills of Appalachia, I have completely warmed to this idea for its intrinsic nostalgia value. |
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