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Big-Ass Wheels on a Little-Ass Car

Why be all refined and shit, eh?
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Couldn't think of anything clever to call it, didn't want to be boring. Settled for stupid.

I'm a fair driver. I do the speed limit (pretty much) obey the traffic laws (the ones I know about--most of the time) and keep my car in good condition (RainX counts, give me a break).

But I really suck at parking (and, ok, some other stuff). I'm always going up on the curb, or scraping the underside of my bumper, or pulling in crooked. For the longest time my steering pulled to the left because I went up on the curb--hard--in the morning because of inadequade ice-scraping. Thrice.

To combat this, I propose: Big-Ass Wheels on a Little-Ass Car. This car would be a UUV: Utility Urban Vehicle. It would have a jacked-up suspension and--I may have said this--Big Ass Wheels. No more worrying about curbs, potholes, and speedbumps fucking with your suspension and alignment--this baby can handle it. Sure you could get a Hummer. But those things are such a bitch to park. Why make things harder on yourself?

Eugene, Jul 05 2004

fast parking http://www.bountyhu...ry/bh/bhdelmar2.jpg
[FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004]

Is this what you're looking for? http://www.miata.ne...mages/uglymiata.jpg
[gabe, Oct 04 2004]

AMC Eagle tribute page http://www.arcticbo...rcticboyseagle.html
Okay, so the wheels weren't big-assed, they could have been. [phoenix, Oct 04 2004]

the link i talked about http://dyenn.turbob...n_monster_truck.jpg
[andrew1, May 12 2005]

My car is a giant hairy monster http://www.esuvee.com/flash.html
How do you ride, eh? [SpocksEyebrow, May 12 2005]

[link]






       2 words: unsprung mass. It would ride like hell.
RayfordSteele, Jul 05 2004
  

       Like Monster Trucks?
MikeOliver, Jul 05 2004
  

       Sounds like a bling thing to me...
wagster, Jul 05 2004
  

       I don't think that this is a "new" idea, but it certainly is a good one. +
swimr, Jul 05 2004
  

       I just want a car that handles well and can take the worst that I throw at it, like curbs or even the occasional trip off-road, or at least backwoods. Plus, it would be cool.
Eugene, Jul 05 2004
  

       "handles well" and "can take...curbs" are mutually exclusive. This is why SUVs are so dangerous--because they try to make them have the capabilities of an off-road vehicle, with the handling of a car, and it just doesn't work that way. You get one or the other, not both.   

       You can handle reasonably well and still do all things you ask, but it'll never handle as well as, say, a Honda Civic.
5th Earth, Jul 05 2004
  

       what if you ditch the wheels altogether and go with tank treads?
gabe, Jul 05 2004
  

       I can dig it.
Eugene, Jul 05 2004
  

       That miata is about what I'm talking about, yes.
Eugene, Jul 05 2004
  

       The profile on the tires would definitely have to be something meaty to take on curbs yet, low enough to handle high speeds. I like.
Tony80, Jul 06 2004
  

       Picture an urban four-wheelin' buggy.
Eugene, Jul 06 2004
  

       Perhaps the problem is not with the car but with the curb. In fact the problem with cars these days is more the roads than anything else but that is a different story...   

       Formula one curbs are neat.. they are painted cool colours (so you can see them) and you can ride right up onto them with pimped wheels and springs.
madness, Jul 06 2004
  

       I recall seeing an old Pinto converted into a truck, (no, I don't know why) it had the "Big Ass Wheels on a Little Ass Car" effect you're looking for. Also, I had a 1990 Mazda 323 with small wheels that somehow managed to take curbs, big train tracks, and a huge jump into a school playground. That car still runs to this day, maybe you should look into one of those.
AfroAssault, Jul 06 2004
  

       Hi, [Afro], howya doin'?
angel, Jul 07 2004
  

       Just another day living the dream. Hopefully I wake up soon.
AfroAssault, Jul 08 2004
  

       grr, i couldnt find the honda one, so il just have to go with this (see link)
andrew1, May 12 2005
  
      
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