Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Biometric Toaster

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A fingerprint scanner adorns the plunger of this toaster. Bread is inserted, and as the plunger is plunged, the biometric toaster seamlessly identifies who the operator is.

In this way, using a preset database linking people to toasting times, every household member gets their own personally preferred shade of brown.

mitxela, Nov 15 2015

Will Smith https://youtu.be/Wmrwj6DDt-4?t=33
Reference [evilpenguin, Nov 15 2015]

[link]






       Do you never make toast for other members of your household?
pocmloc, Nov 15 2015
  

       We intend to cash in on that very situation, by marketing a silicone mould kit that lets family members construct a grotesque keychain sporting the severed fingers of their loved ones.
mitxela, Nov 15 2015
  

       As opposed to Barometric Toaster which can be set to only make toast when it reaches an altitude of 20,000 ft.
xenzag, Nov 15 2015
  

       Didn't Will Smith experience this in MIB?
evilpenguin, Nov 15 2015
  

       As opposed to the biomimetic toaster which you look after for three years under the impression that it is a dog.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 15 2015
  

       // marketing a silicone mould kit that lets family members construct a grotesque keychain sporting the severed fingers of their loved ones ///   

       Oh, how we wish we'd thought of THAT one ....
8th of 7, Nov 15 2015
  

       You will, [8th], you will.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 15 2015
  

       [xenzag], that gives me an idea... (I'm going to steal that title)
mitxela, Nov 16 2015
  

       [poc] dip your other houshold member's finger on the bread, and when inserting the bread into the toaster it will search for fingerprints (and other forensic evidence)
pashute, Nov 16 2015
  

       Would this be manufactured by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as a companion product to the Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser?   

       Share and enjoy!
mwburden, Nov 18 2015
  
      
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