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Boaty McBoatface II

A group funding campaign
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

The greatest thing England's done in a long time is voting to name a very expensive ship that their taxes paid for "Boaty McBoatface" via a public voting website. The elites swatted this down and named the thing after David Attenborough, a great name for a very cool guy but not as cool as Boaty McBoatface would have been for this ship.

The idea is to resurrect this great name via a groupfunding campaign, however to have a design more in keeping with its name, an anthropomorphised ship with big eyes forming the windows of the bridge and a great big friendly grin painted on the prow.

What would be done with it would be largely dependent on how much money was raised. If you got 30 bucks, you'd buy a plastic model, paint a smile on it and call it a day. If you got 100,000, you'd get a little 20 footer and do some customizing to it, sell it to an amusement park or something. If you 200 million or more you'd make a cruise ship that specialized in family vacations.

The idea of a ship named Boaty McBoatface is too good a thing to let die.

doctorremulac3, May 18 2016

Built from the waterline up to look more like its name https://i.ytimg.com...4/maxresdefault.jpg
[doctorremulac3, May 18 2016]

Bob http://articles.bal...line-for-submitting
Instead of Nunavut [bungston, May 18 2016]

Additional unneeded boat picture access Multilevel_20Marketing_20Piracy
[normzone, May 18 2016]

Why democwacy has to be curtailed https://www.youtube...watch?v=7Lc86JUAwwg
And why leaders secretly hate their constituents. [doctorremulac3, May 19 2016]

One Man, One Vote http://www.goodread...-government-and-had
Surprisingly common. [8th of 7, May 20 2016]

There will be a Boaty after all http://www.telegrap...e-science-minister/
RRS Sir David Attenborough will carry a yellow submarine. [david_scothern, May 30 2016]

[link]






       A problem with democracy is that it not only involves asking the people what they want, it involves then doing what they want. Although Boaty and Bob are good examples, Donald is a great example. It is irritating when the elites discard the popular choice.   

       Democracies need to be managed like the clothing choice of a very small child. It is good and empowering to give a choice, but to have the set of all things constitute possible choices opens the door to very bad choices. The elites / parents need to winnow down that set in advanced such that the choice will be the will of the people but also minimally dangerous.   

       Or minimally ridiculous, I very grudgingly suppose.
bungston, May 18 2016
  

       Well, not a new sentiment, evidently the founding fathers thought about this issue. We're a federal republic /constitutional representative democracy, not a straight democracy so my understanding is that if we vote for Boaty McBoatface for president they reserve the right to replace that with somebody who's: A) more able to perform the job and B) a human being rather than an inanimate object.   

       Of course that begs the question who "they" are and how did they get to be "they". We're supposed to have direct control of who "they" are by electing them, then we then give them power to do things as our proxy, but I'm not sure how fluid with the "they" they are and how many unknown "theys" are behind the scenes.   

       Actually, I am sure. It's whoever buys their way into the "they" spot.   

       In a pure democracy, we WOULD be able to vote Boaty McBoatface into the presidency, and if we so desired, have the Whitehouse and Capital building re-designed to hold a 100 foot ship with a big smile and googly eyes. Presidential addresses would be a bit surrealistic at first but I think the novelty of looking at a ship in front of a 50 foot podium would wear off after a while.
doctorremulac3, May 18 2016
  

       but think of the infinite material for the Jimmy Fallons on late night tv. we will laugh our way through the worst regime in human history!
dentworth, May 18 2016
  

       /the worst regime in human history/   

       I hope you are not referring to the aforementioned Boatface regime.
bungston, May 18 2016
  

       I concur, B McB's got my vote.   

       Let's look at a McBoatface administration's probable accomplishments:   

       1- War. Didn't go to war. Didn't do anything. He's a boat.   

       2- Raise taxes. Didn't raise taxes. Or anything. He's a boat.   

       3- Cause divisiveness and unrest. Nope. Boat.   

       4- Loved by all. Ehh, might be pushing it.
doctorremulac3, May 18 2016
  

       The thing is, this wasn’t the greatest thing that England has done.   

       Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales and Kernow did it too.
Ian Tindale, May 18 2016
  

       Just tighten it here. And stuff it up a bit here. And The Northwest Territories (aka Bob) is your uncle.
popbottle, May 18 2016
  

       Re: The Bob, Boaty McBoatface thing, there may not be enough data in yet to confirm this, but I'm thinking the "masses" may actually have a great sense of humor.   

       Gives me hope for the future.   

       I'm reminded of the scene in Monty Python's "Life Of Bryan" where the emperor attempts to involve the people in a serious bid to show the emperor's unending mercy by granting amnesty to the condemned prisoner of their choice. Rather than bowing to his greatness and joining in the tribute they start yelling out names that he'll pronounce in a funny manner owing to his speech impediment. (Link for the 3 people on Earth who haven't seen this scene.)
doctorremulac3, May 19 2016
  

       // the emperor //   

       <pedantry>   

       Actually, it's Michael Palin portraying the Roman Governor, Pontius Pilate.   

       </pedantry>
8th of 7, May 19 2016
  

       Noted. Hey, accuracy is a thing.
doctorremulac3, May 19 2016
  

       //A problem with democracy is that it not only involves asking the people what they want, it involves then doing what they want.   

       The elites screw up all the time. Or, worse, they're manipulative (war on drugs, 2nd Iraq war, etc) and work against what reasoned public option would decide.   

       Boaty McBoatface was mildly subversive and hilarious and a reminder to us to not take life so seriously. But of course the elites have to step in and wag their finger and name it after one of their own. But you can't stop democracy and odds are that most of the commons who deal with that ship are going to call it "Boaty" for a long time to come.
the porpoise, May 19 2016
  

       //...and name it after one of their own// <tsk>   

       While I've never met the man, I wouldn't presume that he acts in a manner consistent with bureacratic officials.   

       Somewhere in Sir DA's future biography will be, I hope, the line...   

       "So they says to me ' Well, it's either you or "Boaty McBoatface" ' "   

       The way I, in my own small way, see it is the ship actually looks like a "Boaty McBoatface".   

       They should put the picture windows back in those structural cutouts, though. Just sayin'.
FlyingToaster, May 19 2016
  

       //elites have to step in and wag their finger and name it after one of their own//   

       Ah, I see the mistake you've made. They've named it after Sir David Attenborough, who is one of us.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 19 2016
  

       ... unlike Lord Richard Attenborough, who was one of Them.
8th of 7, May 19 2016
  

       You know this naming concept can be applied to other vehicles. Planey McPlaneface, Bussy McBussface etc.   

       Naa.
doctorremulac3, May 19 2016
  

       Phoney McPhoneface ?
8th of 7, May 20 2016
  

       Europey McEuropeface?
Ian Tindale, May 20 2016
  

       That's a really, really ugly idea, [Ian].
8th of 7, May 20 2016
  

       The final countdown — Europe. Should we stay or should we go? We as the public will all place our Votey McVoteface soon, at which point the government is quite likely to just decide to ignore it and do what they want anyway.
Ian Tindale, May 20 2016
  

       Ah yes, "democracy". What a wonderful idea. Is there anywhere* that does it, then ?   

       *Apart from those places with a Pratchettesque "One Man, One Vote" system.   

       <link>
8th of 7, May 20 2016
  

       //Votey McVoteface//   

       Ian you've just inadvertently inspired the friendly mascot for democracy. A friendly cartoon character that keeps it dumb for the masses. He'd be a ballot with arms and legs sort of thing.   

       "Hey kids, I'm Votey McVoteface! Do you hate working! Who doesn't? Well, this fall, if you don't vote, evil racists are going to poison the environment and make you get a job! So remember! Vote early, vote often! Bye now!"   

       That would be the Labor/Democrat party version. I guess to be fair I should poke fun at the other side.   

       "Hey kids! Wanna be turned gay and then forced to have an abortion? Well if you don't, put down that crack pipe and remember to vote this fall! Bye now!"
doctorremulac3, May 20 2016
  

       // be turned gay and then forced to have an abortion? //   

       Presumably having previously been raped by Muslim drug dealers and Mexican lesbian communist illegal immigrants ...   

       Oh, it's vitally important to vote ... it doesn't matter who for of course, but as Nanki-Poo says, it provides "corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative."
8th of 7, May 20 2016
  

       The whole Boaty McBoatface thing was a grade A jokes failure. The first and less interesting reason for this is that Boaty McBoatface is not a funny name for a boat. Royal Research Ship PECT was a significantly funnier suggestion, which was roundly ignored in favour of the entirely juvenile Boaty McBoatface. That's fine, I'm OK with people having a shit sense of humour. Loads of people find cataclysmically unamusing stuff hilarious. Michael MacIntyre, for example. People find Michael MacIntyre funny. People find the idea of calling a boat RSS Boaty McBoatface funny. I am not stepping on anyone's right to be amused by asinine garbage. Laugh it up, morons, by all means.   

       However, this leads me to the second and more interesting reason for this to be a grade A joeks failure: that English people voting to call a boat Boaty McBoatface is, more so than the name itself, not funny. The joke was "Wouldn't it be funny to call a boat Boaty McBoatface?" as posited by whichever great wit made the suggestion to the poll. As has already been explained, this joke was not funny. But even if we were to make the obviously faulty assumption that it was funny, the fact that people voted for it does not either (a) make the original joke funnier or (b) make the people voting for it any funnier. On (a) there was no way that a very expensive boat was going to be called Boaty McBoatface and everyone knew that. This is what made the original joke "funny" – the idea that the name was transgressive of the predicted desires and wishes of HM Govt. and the well-recognised parameters of the vote. The fact that a lot of people attempted to repeat the joke by voting for it did not amplify the comedy in it because each putatively hilarious transgression did not make the contrast between the stupidity of the name and the seriousness of the scientific activities any more pronounced. It just made a load of people look like feebs. Which brings me to (b) and the most regrettable part of the whole affair. I posit that each vote for Boaty McBoatface included (in varying quantities and proportions) at least two elements. The first was the "lol" part, where the vote was a form of acknowledgement of the hilarity of the joke, equivalent to lol or jejeje or whatever internet people say these days. I'm alright with this (see above). The second was the "I'm mad me" part of the vote (aka Colin Hunt) whereby the person voting thought that by participating in the vote they were themselves doing something funny, as if simply laughing at a joke told to you made you as funny as the person telling the joke. This is the part where I despair of the English, for their love of being dismally unfunny and for riding on the coattails of the equally dismally unfunny people who at least have it in them to make jokes in the first place - while at the same time being completely unaware that they and the jokesters they copy are this unfunny. This cluelessness has been a significant hindrance to England and the English since way back.   

       As to the idea, it too proceeds from the clearly incorrect position that calling a boat Boaty McBoatface is funny but it takes the idea in a new direction, by asking the "I'm mad me" subset of the English to actually stump up cash to demonstrate their how zany and hilarious they are. This, then, is the English-targeting version of the Mensa scam.
calum, May 30 2016
  

       I've got to be honest, I thought the whole thing was very well handled. They named the ship after someone we really ought to remember (and learnt a lesson about crowd-sourcing ideas in the process) but there is a remotely-operated vessel on board - a big yellow submarine - named... you guessed it.   

       Calling the ship Boaty McBoatface would definitely have been funnier in the short term, but I think using the name for the ROV instead allowed a sane outcome without completely trampling the opinions of the few and the bandwagon of the many.
david_scothern, May 30 2016
  

       Well, I think the whole thing was a wonderful reminder that lots of people consider it ok to not take things so seriously sometimes. I thought it had subtle undertones of rebellion but that's probably a stretch.   

       It did seem to throw the different mindset of the lowly prols and their betters into stark relief though. "We allow you to name our seriously expensive ship and you come up with this? This is why you can't be trusted with self determination you knuckle dragging louts!"   

       Calum, I understand that you don't like the name the folks came up with in this case, but would you be ok with a funny name being given to some public entity in the future? Maybe a park or public building? As far as I know, this concept is unprecedented.   

       Only one I can think of is the nickname for the the B-52 Stratofortress: BUFF or big ugly fat f**ker. I'd like to see more of this silliness from time to time personally. We take life to seriously sometimes. In my opinion.   

       As an aside, isn't it a probability that the RRS Sir David Attenborough will forever be referred to as "The ship formerly known as Boaty McBoatface"? do ships get nicknames? And what of those rebels who refuse to be cowed and continue to call it the RRS Boaty McBoatface? Am I the only one out there that's going to ignore the dictates of the rulers on this one and call it by it's unofficial name?   

       I doubt I'll ever be called on to refer to this ship, but if I am, I'll proudly say "You mean Boaty McBoatface?"
doctorremulac3, May 30 2016
  

       I am AOK with naming being comical or at least whimsical but evidence (i.e. Boaty McBoatface) suggests that crowd sourcing comedy results in Michael MacIntyre, whereas allowing the comical name to arise naturally will get you something closer to actually funny (e.g. Jardine House in Hong Kong). I am aware that the a nick-name catching has some of the problems that I identified above, but I would argue that if people actually have to make the joke aloud and to the face of another person to claim participation in the joke, they are more likely to pick something that is actually funny.
calum, May 30 2016
  

       Any suggestions? Not a challenge, I'd like to hear more funny name ideas for public projects.   

       Stuff like, for a new very expensive bridge: "Bridgemeister 9000".   

       Not funny, just silly.
doctorremulac3, May 30 2016
  

       I have no suggestions: I am as cataclysmically unfunny as the next English person.
calum, May 30 2016
  

       I disagree, the English have a great history of creativity in my lifetime. In music, the Beatles and Led Zeppelin and with humor Monty Python. Pinnacle achievements in their respective art-forms I think.
doctorremulac3, May 30 2016
  

       // I am as cataclysmically unfunny as the next English person. //   

       <hard stare>   

       Calum's a scotch name, isn't it ?   

       <even harder stare>   

       // for a new very expensive bridge: "Bridgemeister 9000". //   

       We have noted in the Americas (Yes, Canada, for once you're guilty as well) a propensity for calling such structures the "Lieutenant-Colonel Rufus T. Firefly Memorial Overpass" and the like, which is only ever going to provoke the response "Lieutenant-Colonel WHO ? Why did they name a bit of road after him ?"   

       So unless you have Elmer B. Pianola-Firefly III sitting in a concession booth in a scenic overlook ready to regale travellers with the story of his Great-granduncle's heroic action at the Battle of Sticky Creek and then sell them a baseball cap with "I visited the Lieutenant-Colonel Rufus T. Firefly Memorial Overpass and now I know who he was and wht he did" printed on it, all you get is repeated multiple pile-ups as drivers struggle to google "rufus firefly".   

       Not good.   

       Either have a simple, unambiguous name like "The Neil Armstrong Bridge" or "The New Muddy River Bridge" or just give it a number.
8th of 7, May 30 2016
  

       As someone who was (a) born in England, (b) has lived for years in England and (c) voluntarily keeps English people in my acquaintance, I feel that I am (appeal to expertise) better placed to confirm whether or not English people are funny. They are not. Some of them might have some small measure of wit (e.g. Gore Vidal, Jacques Tati, Mangosuthu Buthelezi) but as a mass, they are not funny.   

       As to Monty Python: it used to be the case that every male English child went through a period (usually between the ages of 11-15) of believing that Monty Python is funny. Only a very small number retain that belief after their first downstairs indoors.   

       The Beatles? Led Zep? I've shit em.   

       Let's be clear, though, it was your good self that made this about the English, so I have focussed on them. I am of the view that almost every nation of composed of braying, witless morons who will laugh at people remembering things and all manner of forced public school zaniness. Comedy, as a whole, is shite because comedians are generally not funny and people will laugh at anything. Laughing is worthless as being an indicator of something being funny.
calum, May 30 2016
  

       //Either have a simple, unambiguous name like "The Neil Armstrong Bridge" or "The New Muddy River Bridge" or just give it a number.//   

       Could continue down the same path as the BMcB thing or the "Bob" northwest territories deal and pick some random citizen to name it after. The "Robert T Jones Memorial Bypass". Would be even funnier if he were still alive and kind of pissed off at the notoriety.   

       //Comedy, as a whole, is shite// //Laughing is worthless as being an indicator of something being funny.//   

       I've always thought that, contrary to humor being an indication of lack of intellect, it was the safety valve given to smart people faced with a world full of dumb people that allowed them to go through life without blowing a gasket. I'm a big believer in nature. Laughter and a sense of humor is something we were born with. It's very common and so evolution in its infinite wisdom presumably has a reason we've be so equipped.
doctorremulac3, May 30 2016
  

       // As someone who was (a) born in England, (b) has lived for years in England and (c) voluntarily keeps English people in my acquaintance //   

       Wethinks he doth protest too much ...   

       <very very hard stare>   

       // Mangosuthu Buthelezi //   

       Well, yes, fair enough, his demonstration of The Last Turkey In The Shop is world-reknowned for causing side-splitting mirth.   

       // It's very common //   

       Well, it's an attribute your species shares with chimpanzees. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is open to discussion.   

       Consider:   

       Both humans and chimpanzees laugh.   

       Chimpanzees pick fleas off one another. Humans don't.   

       Humans spend a lot of time amd effort trying to amass small rectangular pieces of paper. Chimpanzees don't.   

       Humans keep both chimpanzees and other humans locked up in enclosures. Chimpanzees don't.   

       One of you has probably got it wrong.   

       // evolution in its infinite wisdom presumably has a reason we've be so equipped. //   

       Probably evolution likes a laugh as much as the next random philosophical concept.
8th of 7, May 30 2016
  

       The issue isn’t funniness, pseudo- democracy, the Cornish, or boats. It is lack of imagination in naming. Firstly, in the days of the ’1980s there was Black Adder and Ben Elton on telly all the time. Obviously success bred production-lining and what people found funny was merely what they were thrust unto watching on the four channels of telly that were. Richard Curtis’ scripting of Black Adder included some painfully lazy moves of a Ben Elton influence or flavour, only saved by having someone as inherently funny as Rowan Atkinson reading aloud the frankly unfunny lines as often and as coherently amusingly as the actual highly funny ones that there were in among the scripts. Obviously, as I say, the pressures of demands were such that not every line was a true gem, and quality control went out of the window. Minus Rowan Atkinson, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, and to a smaller extent, Tony Robinson, that scripting style would not have meant much at all — as it happens, it became through inane repetition the stock in trade of the playground and workplace.   

       Boaty McBoatface is the same flavour or style as the “as cunning as a very cunning thing” laziness:   

       “We're about as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod.”
“We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.”
“Your family’s record in the department of cunning planning is about impressive as Stumpy Oleg McNoLeg's personal best in the Market Harbour marathon!”
  

       But why does this pattern exist? I blame product names. Throughout history we’ve had a history of lazy inventors, and unlike comedy writers, this isn’t funny. Imagine the triumphant announcement when it was announced that:   

       “this new invention will save men and women countless hours of tedium and effort. I announce my new invention. It is a machine that will enable you to sew fabric faster!”
“That’s great — what are you going to call it?”
“er, the sewing machine?”
  

       or “this new invention will save men and women countless hours of tedium and effort. I announce my new invention. It is a machine that will wash your clothes for you!”
“That’s great — what are you going to call it?”
“er, the washing machine?”
  

       or “this new invention will save men and women countless hours of tedium and effort. I announce my new invention. It is a machine that will cause the phone to only ring twice then go to answering machine!”
“That’s great — what are you going to call it?”
“er, the Turing machine?”
  

       Hang on, I think I did that last one incorrect.
Ian Tindale, May 30 2016
  

       Yes, it should have been the "Turing Test". That's where you pick up the phone, and the person on the other end tries to decide if you're intelligent.   

       You'd fail.
8th of 7, May 30 2016
  

       //Humans keep both chimpanzees and other humans locked up in enclosures. Chimpanzees don't.//   

       Hmm, can't recall which anthro journal the article was in, but apparently somebody taught a chimp (or bonobo) to do something impressive, and the chimp (or bonobo) taught their offspring.   

       It would probably be rather advantageous to planet Earth if chimps went around locking people up in cages.
FlyingToaster, May 30 2016
  

       There's a film about that, you know ...   

       // somebody taught a chimp (or bonobo) to do something impressive, and the chimp (or bonobo) taught their offspring. //   

       Vote Democrat, probably. Explains a lot...
8th of 7, May 30 2016
  
      
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