Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Broadsheet iPhone emulator

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As has been pointed out (link), reading a newpaper on an iPhone deprives you of the opportunity to rattle your paper in harrumphing disapproval.

But there's another problem. As anyone who has travelled in an overcrowded first-class carriage will know, the simple arms-akimbo gesture of opening out a broadsheet newspaper is actually a socially-laden male dominance gesture. The iPhone experience, by contrast, lessens the breadth of man's soul in direct proportion to its physical width.

Fortunately, this problem can be solved. What is needed is a pair of wings, each 18 inches wide, attached to a central iPhone holder. These wings include some basic motion sensors, linked Bluedentally to the iPhone. In this way, the folding and opening of the wings can tell the iPhone to display the next (or previous, depending on the gesture used) page of the newspaper.

With this device, the dominant male can stake out his horizontal territory as clearly and as boldly as he can with a physical broadsheet newspaper.

MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2014

Phone rattling app Paper-rattling_20app
[MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2014]

[link]






       Other: general?
Vernon, Oct 15 2014
  

       So, sitting next to this variety of prick, am I at least able to shoulder surf the news on his phone?
the porpoise, Oct 15 2014
  

       False pretenses. This is merely an iPhone broadsheet emulator. I'm disappointed.
pocmloc, Oct 16 2014
  

       I assumed this would be an app which simulated a broadsheet newspaper by rapidly displaying segments of the page as you wave your phone around, using the viewer's eyes' persistence-of-vision to give the impression of a complete newspaper.
hippo, Oct 16 2014
  

       //Other: general?//   

       Ooops.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 16 2014
  
      
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