Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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There goes my teleportation concept.

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Camera/phone/scratcher

Camera+phone+arse scratcher=Ahhhh
 
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Ok, with the recent camera phone craze, pressure is on to find yet more additional features our gimmick -starved society will gobble up. Right. So I came up with the Camera phone arse-scratcher. Simple to manufacture, just add a dinner fork-like shape to the outer casing of our next little gadget craze. Operation is simple, remove trousers down to knees (or ankles if you have a particularly large posterior) insert camera phone in crack (fork side first) and proceed to move around until your itch has been properly scratched. Key bennies: 1. scratch arse anywhere, anytime, even on the go, 2. ability to take pics of one's arse before, during or after scratching it, and 3. if you plan on farting, activate the phone portion to transmit fart sounds along with detailed arse and/or crack pics to family and friends. Other product possibilites: arse-fork could double as dinner fork, or scratching apparatus could be in spork-shape to facilitate spoon functions as well. This year's x-mas time gift of the year!
corporatedipshit, Mar 13 2004

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       You can now communicate with your Swiss army arse phone. Nice moniker btw.
skinflaps, Nov 28 2006
  

       You don't mind if I borrow your phone do you?
craigts, Nov 28 2006
  
      
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