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CapoWare

Because a wiseguy has a lot on his mind.
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When you're a high-level gangster, you've got a lot on your mind. Personnel to manage, capers to plan, multiple illegal enterprises to manage, bribes to track. So you need something more than your ordinary project management software.

You need CapoWare.

Use CapoWare to schedule whackings, access your favorite restaurant menus, keep track of your footsoldiers, all with a few taps on your smartphone. Super-double-secure technology keeps your data safe from prying prosecutors and rival bosses. Organizational charts automatically update as your subordinates knock each other off. And our special AlibiCreator[TM] module creates an electronic paper trail to prove that you wasn't nowhere near the place!

Available in English, Sicilian, Northern Italian, Japanese, Spanish (Central American and Castilian), Nigerian, Serbian, Mandarin, Russian, and other languages.

smendler, Jan 29 2016

I was expecting something a little more musical... http://www.theguita...r-acoustic-guitars/
[normzone, Jan 29 2016]

[link]






       // other languages //   

       We suggest Russian and Ferengi will do well.
8th of 7, Jan 29 2016
  

       It would be a big deal, if you can actually make a gangster to pay for the software.
piluso, Jan 29 2016
  

       Include a module that publishes everything in the event of your untimely death.
the porpoise, Jan 29 2016
  

       Oh, the software should be free. No need to be ungenerous, really.   

       On the other hand, it'd be a shame if something happened to that nice security module, now wouldn't it? A little protection for that would probably have some value every month or so.
lurch, Jan 29 2016
  

       love it. LOVE it. In fact, I may write it.
Voice, Jan 29 2016
  

       Remember, you need to also keep track of two sets of books, one for the tax auditors to inspect, and one with the real data in it.
Vernon, Jan 29 2016
  

       Santini Claus definitely approves. You have no idea how much time I spend updating org charts every time some pansy elf wants to run off on the family to go be a dentist. Makes me mad enough to go shoot a minion, except for the fact that if I did so I'd just have to update it again. I trust it can handle your basic GANTT chart? I got deadlines, you knows. The tools to make these toys don't just go make themselves.
RayfordSteele, Jan 29 2016
  

       And when the batteries fail slowly, Everybody dies ...   

       Slowly.
popbottle, Jan 30 2016
  

       I foresee one problem in the business plan, tho - potentially a lot of turnover in the customer service department...
smendler, Feb 07 2016
  
      
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