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Cattle Prism

Fools even the cleverest ruminants
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Since the dawn of agriculture man has relied on various methods to keep his cattle contained, such as fences, moats and violence. Since the advent of the road however the cattle grid has won the favour of farmers everywhere as it cleverly exploits the herd's complete failure to grasp the concept of the cattle grid.

However, despite their idiotic appearance modern cattle are now finding ways to cross these cattle grids, and man in his wisdom must find another solution. And here is the solution: THE CATTLE PRISM. Made of Pyrex glass and formed to the exact width of the gate or opening, the cattle prism is a large glass pyramid that is placed where once a cattle grid would have been employed. This will deter even the most determined cud-chewing mammal from even attempting to circumvent its mysterious sides, as the foolish cows, goats and elk slip uselessly on the shiny surfaces and gawp in abject horror at their mangled reflections in its interior.

rodti, May 18 2007

Grid mastered by 'naughty' goats http://news.bbc.co....d/devon/6259437.stm
Proof of a higher goat consciousness [rodti, May 18 2007]

(???) Prisms don't work either http://www.comeoffi...ely.com/latest.html
Back to square one. [MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2007]

[link]






       And the farmer gets through the gate how, exactly?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2007
  

       The farmer can use other means beyond the ken of animals, such as a helicopter.
rodti, May 18 2007
  

       It would be cheaper, in the long run, to use Pyrex 'cows'.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2007
  

       As my friend David from Seymour, Iowa once told me, cows aren't so dumb: Because of the expense of digging the trenches and laying the bars, farmers and ranchers long ago began to leverage bovine intuition by merely painting lines on the road where steel would have gone. Cow mentation makes this leap easily, David explained: "Oh, no, you can't fool me. Sure, that's paint, but it _represents_ rails with gaps in between. No thank you!"
evan1138, May 19 2007
  

       I like the idea of a cow-prism - perhaps shining light into it at an angle, causes it to refract into a series of pastel (milky) hues.
zen_tom, May 19 2007
  

       Wouldn't the obvious use of a "cattle prism" be in the construction of a fence, beyond which the color of the grass would be distorted to something less green?
lurch, May 19 2007
  

       Having ridden many a horse who reacts in fear to the slightest change in color underfoot, I agree with [evan1138].
normzone, May 19 2007
  

       <short, respectful pause while the spirit of Gary Larsen passes through>
pertinax, May 20 2007
  
      
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