h a l f b a k e r y
Naturally, seismology provides the answer.
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Electronics are getting smaller and
electronic organs fail on many occasions.
Many of these organs are rather vital to
the point where their failure will
incapacitate the user while still giving
seemingly normal output. While a
redundant organ may not be feasable a
celular phone would
be small enough and
take up very little power.
The owner wouldn't have to buy a cell
phone plan since emergency calls in many
places are free. The phone wouldn't have
to be on except to dial out the emergency.
The operator would only have to follow the
instructions that the computerized
message would say in order for the organ
to know that the message got through.
Out of area? Well for just a bit extra you
can have the organ modified for an
outside satellite phone.
||What does everyone think, should I
change the idea slightly to allow for
Doctors to dial into said organ to get
||I'm sure this is part of the future for man-made (artificial) organs.
||(psst: artificial organs)
Would this work? Would an antenna have to extend outside the body? Shades of "My Favorite Martian"!
||You better hope no one tries to clone it.
||"Organs America, may I have your social security number please?"
"Sure, it's 0-3-5...5-6...3-1-3-4."
"And your account number?"
"0-0-0...7-7-1...1-5-7...7-G-N as in Nancy...4-2-A...5-6-1."
"Is this Mr. Phundug?"
"Yes it is."
"How may I help you, sir?"
"Well, my kidney keeps making a beeping noise."
"OK, and would that be an intermittent beep sound or a continuous beep sound sir?"
"I guess you could say continuous. It's hard to tell; it just started last night and I wasn't sure what to do to stop it and it's still beeping."
"OK, what I'd like you to do is I'd like you to restart your kidney."
"How do I do that?"
"If you push your fingers into the side of your stomach just underneath your rib cage - you should feel a small button in there."
"Hold on... <mmrph...grmph...oof..> Oh, yeah, I feel it!"
"OK, sir, what I'd like you to do is press and hold that button for 15 seconds."
"...<15 seconds>...Oh, it just beeped twice. Oh, it's quiet now."
"Excellent, you should be fine now."
"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
"Nope, that's it."
"Have a great day, sir"
"You too, have a good
||Sounds like your kidneys run Windows IO (Internal Organ). Would it be possible to overclock the heart during competitive sports events, and the brain for chess tournaments?