h a l f b a k e r y
Outside the bag the box came in.
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When theres a big party, champagne begins to spray. And the people getting doused dont really mind. Thats the angle of this idea: Hiding a little dinner sloppiness, under the cover of a celebration.
I took my sweetheart to a nice restaurant. During the meal, oops, she dripped a little gravy
onto her blouse. Know now, shes not clumsy like me. The term is Old Man Dribble, and she doesnt have the lady version. No, I distracted her, or there was something wrong with the fork. Sweetie, it wasnt your fault! But she was certain everybody noticed and that they were discussing it disapprovingly, all down the street and into the next city. And as she tried to clean it at the table, the little drip became a large spot. She went into the ladies room for about 27 hours, returned with a completely soaked blouse, wrapped herself like a mummy in her coat, and we left.
Next time, I want a bottle of Champagne Gravy. It will go like this:
Waiter, a bottle of your finest, please.
He arrives with Champagne Gravy, an excellent vintage.
Pop! Shake-shake-shake-shake (thumb over the mouth of the bottle).
I then leap up and yell YEAH! Way to go Wildcats! WoooHooo!, and spray us both thoroughly, as the wait staff gathers to cheer us on.
We leave celebrating, and covered head to toe in gravy.
As I look back on that event, Ill ask her, Sweetie, remember that time in the fancy restaurant when we were soaked in gravy?
I think shell remember, with no recollection of how it started.
Champagne Gravy -- The food type.
This is a different kind of Champagne Gravy, part of a meal, and probably the source of the first drip. [Amos Kito, Mar 05 2008, last modified Apr 26 2008]
carbonated ketchup, by [po]
It's The Champagne of Ketchups! [Amos Kito, Mar 05 2008]
Yay! I finally figured it out. Some days I'm thick as a bottle of gravy. [Amos Kito, Mar 06 2008]
||...and if its just a caff, champagne ketchup would be nice!
||Just the idea of a chilled, lightly sparkling gravy sounds rather nice. You could probably fake it with Bovril and sparkling water.
||Perfect for "after dinner", too.
||Just always carry a spare brooch that she
can pin over the offending spot. You
could even give her a new brooch to
celebrate each new speculation.