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Channel Charge

Brexit for free
 
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Not surprisingly, those bloody furriners are being inexplicably uncooperative regarding Brexit.

But this is not unexpected, and is more of an opportunity than a problem.

The EU lacks any form of armed forces, or indeed a coherent central authority. Oh dear, how sad, never mind. Britain does still have them, just about ...

So, they want billions of Euro, do they ?

Well, they can have it. Every single cent. Not a problem.

Of course, someone somewhere still has to pay.

Taking a lesson from WW1, it's a simple matter of reestablishing the Dover Patrol.

Simply put, all commercial vessels passing through the English Channel, or the North Sea, will be expected to pay (in advance) the Channel Charge.

Of course, if they don't pay, they will be escorted into a port by an RN destroyer, and they'll stay there until the charge, and a swingeing penalty, is paid - or in 28 days, the ship and cargo will be forefeit.

The Charge will be set at a level to ensure the EU's invoice is paid off in just a few years, plus of course a modest administration fee for Britain.

Alternatively, shippers can bring their vessels into West coast ports, unload them, and then have them transshiped to the East coast, at their own expense; again, there will be a modest administrative fee.

Since it will be decades before the Eurocrats can get their act together, there's absolutely nothing to stand in the way of this cheap, simple and cost-effective scheme.

In fact, even after the bill's been paid off, there's no actual reason to end the operation ...

8th of 7, Aug 07 2017

You could just subcontract the whole thing Multilevel_20Marketing_20Piracy
[normzone, Aug 08 2017]

[link]






       To reduce running costs, you could employ Somalis to do this. I understand some of them have relevant experience.
pertinax, Aug 08 2017
  

       Wait a moment - do you mean to tell me that we currently allow _free_ access to the English Channel???
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 08 2017
  

       Deep breaths, [MB], deep breaths ... now, just sit down and sip this quart of Glenmorangie .... think happy thoughts ... Agincourt ... Waterloo ... Crecy ...   

       // some of them have relevant experience. //   

       Oh, they know how to hate the french too ? Probably the way they're treated by the CRS in Calais.
8th of 7, Aug 08 2017
  

       I was thinking more of their experience of deriving revenue from a narrow sea lane, with capital outlays limited to a rubber dinghy and a few kalashnikovs.   

       Of course, the real point of the suggestion was to bring out the difference between the two kinds of brexism - on the one hand, people who think Europe is too small, and want to take maximum advantage of low-wage economies elsewhere and, on the other hand, people who think Europe is too big, and want to bring jobs home (so, no Somali outsourcing from them).
pertinax, Aug 08 2017
  

       What about those who think Europe is too sideways?
Ian Tindale, Aug 09 2017
  

       For them, one of those early-modern maps with west at the top.
pertinax, Aug 09 2017
  

       Wheat never eat Shredded? How could anyone remember that?
Ian Tindale, Aug 09 2017
  

       // maps with west at the top //   

       The actual orientation doesn't matter, as long as England is in the centre.
8th of 7, Aug 09 2017
  
      
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