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Chopsticks for the Western World

No more fumbling with your prawn balls.
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My new invention will revolutionise the way we blindly stumble into the eating habits of Eastern cultures without any dexterity or grace.

Chopsticks are not easy for Western hands to use(something to do with the fatness of the palm and a condition known as 'remote control thumb').

But if you simply sellotaped a fork to the end of one chopstick, and a knife to the end of the other, this would eradicate slippage and cack-handedness for us all.

Initial criticisms suggest that this would simply give you an extra-long knife and fork with a flimsy shaft, but I think that's just being short-sighted.

kpx, Jul 27 2001

Bakinze one... http://www.ichizen....psticks_1998_12.htm
'Chopsticks with vestigal knifeblade and fork on one end. Search for 'cathay' on the page.' [StarChaser, Jul 27 2001]

Bakinze two... http://www.forkchops.com/
So baked they have their own domain. [hello_c] [StarChaser, Jul 27 2001]

And half-baked. http://www.halfbake...tional_20Chopsticks
...by one of the (now absent) odder .5Bakers... [StarChaser, Jul 27 2001]

[link]






       I've seen what I assume is a westernised version of chopsticks, where they're joined together and spring loaded at the non-eating end, so you can use them much easier.
-alx, Jul 27 2001
  

       I don't have a problem using chop sticks to eat Asiatic food, because generally, the rice is pretty sticky and the food is apportioned in to small pieces. But I have on occasion tried to use chopsticks for Western food and it is very difficult.   

       I like this idea but I don't know if it would make things much easier. Maybe having fork like claws at the bottom of the chopsticks would help pick up larger bits of food. I don't know about using a knife at the end of a chopstick or else I might cut up my lips.
Op, Jul 27 2001
  

       This one gets my biscuit for the term "cack-handedness".
phoenix, Jul 27 2001
  

       I second that, phoenix. Excellent word, kpx!
1percent, Jul 27 2001
  

       I think cack-handedness is getting hot in Teen Stock Market. I'm hopping on the bandwagon. It's strange to sit in a Chinese restaurant and deftly eat with chopsticks while 2 other couples of Chinese descent are using forks and knives.
thumbwax, Jul 27 2001
  

       ...or you could just practice for a bit of time and learn to use chopsticks? tho they're not ideal for everything, true...but i've found that even a lot of western food is ok if one is quick and doesn't mind looking a little silly. coleslaw is good, almost anything cut up into small pieces is good. a girl scout troop i knew voted on this once years ago and decided that the "easiest-ever" food to eat with chopsticks is Froot Loops...see? lots of options...
Urania, Jul 28 2001
  

       I've never understood what is hard about using chopsticks. If a billion chinese can do it, why can't you? I'm as much a honkey as any of you, and I've never found it hard at all. They are just a couple of little bits of wood, it's not like flying the space shuttle or anything. Try a bit harder please!
BertieWooster, Jul 28 2001
  

       The great thing about chopsticks is that they force you to savor each pea individually...   

       Seriously, I was recently at a picnic where baked beans were served and there weren't enough forks to go around, and chopsticks proved a reasonable substitute. It took longer to eat, because I couldn't shovel them in, but in the circumstances this was a good thing. Potato salad is another western food that's perfectly chopstickable.
baf, Jul 28 2001
  

       "I've never understood what is hard about using chopsticks."   

       Western food isn't designed to be eaten with chopsticks.   

       And just because a lot of people believe something doesn't make it correct. How many people believe/believed the Earth is flat, and nobody landed on the Moon?   

       Besides, this is baked, not to mention redundant. See links.
StarChaser, Jul 28 2001
  

       What's needed is not chopsticks for the western world, but silverware for the Asians. Maybe forks with just one or two points? A knife with a very dull blade?
bodin, Jul 28 2001
  

       I believe it is all just a case of different utensils for different foods. Fondue forks, corn (cob) holders, oyster shucker, salad fork, butter knife, all things that we may use on occasion that have a pretty specific use. Typically, Chinese food isn't a big steak and baked potato, it is designed for the utensils they have been accustomed to for centuries. Granted, forks and knives and such seem easier for us to use, but there is nothing wrong or unusual about adding yet another tool to your culinary toolbox.
Mojo, Jul 28 2001
  

       The Chinese cook and eat the way they do principally because of a lack of wood (and therefore, of steel). One cooking pot (the wok), made from a flat sheet of metal, one sharp knife, everything cut small (and marinated) so it cooks quickly (shortage of firewood), and so it can be eaten with bamboo sticks (not enough metal for forks). It may take most of the day to prepare a meal (time is cheap), but only five minutes to cook it (firewood isn't). Food which is to be stewed is heated in the wok then cooked in a strawbox.
angel, Jul 31 2001
  

       I hope that is true because I am going to start telling that to people to sound smart.
EvoketheTiger, Jul 31 2001
  

       Sound smart with confidence; it's totally true.
angel, Jul 31 2001
  

       ... and historically, it makes do with what local foods are in season. Smaller pieces weren't smaller by choice all the time either. Much like french cuisine which was julienned (to make do with the veggie that wasn't rotten) and covered with sauce (to hide the otherwise rottened food) - Chinese cooking reflected adaptation. Those are the basic origins.
thumbwax, Jul 31 2001
  

       A practical implementation: Take one glove (right or left handed - to preference) two chopsticks and a tube of superglue. Apply glue along the (outer) surface of the glove between thumb and index finger. Apply thick end of chopstick to glued glove along length of thumb and finger. Pick up food with a motion rather like pinching.
key-aero, Aug 01 2001
  

       I think another reason silverware hasn't caught on in certain countries (finger-food cultures as well as chopstickers) is that most flatware tastes metallic. If you haven't grown up with the taste I understand it's quite off-putting.
Dog Ed, Aug 01 2001
  

       I coincidentally had Chinese last night at my fiance's parents' house. On requesting chop sticks, I shared my new found knowledge as if I were a Chinese historian.   

       Dog Ed, I have used flatware for most of my life and now prefer using chop sticks whenever I can to avoid that metallic taste. Maybe tastless flatware would not be a bad idea.
EvoketheTiger, Aug 01 2001
  

       alx:rookie sticks waugsqueke: chindogu?(i think)
technobadger, Aug 01 2001
  

       In the beginning man ate his food with his fingers. As he progressed, he learnt to eat with twigs from a tree. He refined this by using two hand smoothed sticks. He finally invented knives and forks. Some places still waiting for that final progression i suppose
arrondee, Aug 16 2001
  

       not so. there are tons of things i could eat twice as fast as you could with my lowly hand smoothed sticks than your fork. oh yes, it was a brilliant leap of science when you guys figured out how to stab your meat with a sharp piece of metal. the way i see it, it's *your* utensil that is primitive... ( ;
xiaolongbao, Apr 24 2002
  

       "You don't knit with forks, so I see no reason to eat with knitting needles."
- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese food
bristolz, May 24 2002
  

       [xiaolongbao] there are tons of things i could eat twice as fast as you could   

       what's the damn hurry? you don't like food? (maybe it is rotten) in a civilised culture, one is allowed time to eat - in prison you get what? 10 minutes per meal?
trixie, May 24 2002
  
      
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