Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Quis custodiet the custard?

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Continuous Cheese Slicer

I'd Like 3 feet of Havarti Please!
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This cheese slicer is designed to operate with a wheel of cheese. An axle is punched through the center of the wheel and then it is mounted to the slicer. The slicer operates much like a lathe slicing off a continuous ribbon of cheese to the desired length and thickness.
jhomrighaus, Sep 11 2007

can I get some cheese on this sandwich please? http://www.guinness...rgest_sandwich.aspx
[xandram, Sep 11 2007]

Ham on a roll Ham_20On_20A_20Roll
Shameless self-promotion [jtp, Sep 11 2007]

[link]






       Could I have a foot or so of Elemmental for this croissant?
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 11 2007
  

       Of course. [+]   

       You may need a secondary roller, just ahead of the slicer, to react the side loads that the slicer puts into the wheel of cheese and hence avoid the cheese breaking up.
david_scothern, Sep 11 2007
  

       I'm confused about how you would package a 3-foot strip of havarti which doesn't want to lie straight, having been shaved off of a curved cheesewheel. Do you wrap it around a Frisbee-like disc of similar curvature?
phundug, Sep 11 2007
  

       for home use, [phundug]. it's the cheese wheel that gets sold along side a shiny new continuous cheese slicer.
k_sra, Sep 11 2007
  

       Oh, neat - I like this! And maybe you could have an attachment that cuts it like pasta ino thin strips?
DrCurry, Sep 11 2007
  

       And you could feed the strip through a cross cut paper shredder to make shredded cheese!
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 11 2007
  

       I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP!
bungston, Sep 11 2007
  

       Better, get two of them at right angles to each other and weave them into a cheese basket, or even a duvet. Cheese is supposed to give you weird dreams after all.
theleopard, Sep 11 2007
  

       and what about the paper that goes between the slices?... Streamers?
xandram, Sep 11 2007
  

       Want some ham with that? (linkadink)   

       Mmmmm.... ham, cheese & pickle.
jtp, Sep 11 2007
  

       I think that using a custom cheese-wheel is asking for trouble - it's like designing a printer that only takes circular paper.   

       A clever machine, with lasers and sensors and things, would be able to use a rectangular, or even wedge-shape-shaped block of cheese.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2007
  

       A fine scheme. The rolls could be mounted along one mighty pole and the slicer slid beneath them. Huge snausages and hams would be similarly mounted. It would be much more efficient. And one could easily adapt this to produce a cheese costume or ham dress.   

       ah, I took back my bone. Let the homrighaus hater bring one instead.
bungston, Oct 04 2007
  

       okay, [bungston]   

       here you go [-]
evilpenguin, Oct 04 2007
  

       Gee thanks [evil] I needed that.   

       By the way thanks for the little tribute in your profile. I'm not sure if I should be flattered that its there or worried about when you will show up at my front door to get even.
jhomrighaus, Oct 04 2007
  

       Nope, just well-written and funny. [jhom]   

       Its all good in the bakery!   

       (but I have a pet peve when it comes to custard)
evilpenguin, Oct 04 2007
  

       custard.
k_sra, Oct 05 2007
  

       I.
theleopard, Oct 05 2007
  

       [jtp] how did you think they would make ham on a roll? I think your idea was just waiting for technology to catch up and now it has.
jhomrighaus, Oct 05 2007
  

       [k_sra] punny, very punny
evilpenguin, Oct 05 2007
  

       Yes! I want a slice of provelone a little longer than this poboy loaf (so it sticks over the edge a little).
nomocrow, Oct 05 2007
  
      
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