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Ham On A Roll

Available in 1.6m, 3.2m and 6.4m lengths
  (+10, -4)
(+10, -4)
  [vote for,
against]

The average baguette is 40cm long. The average slice of ham is 12cm square. This causes a dilemma. Do you cut several slices to the shape of the baguette, discarding the excess, or do you just fold the ham over, risking uneven ham thickness? Ham On A Roll brings an end to this misery. Simply feed your 5cm wide roll of ham onto your ham dispenser, and place it in the fridge. Pull on the roll as you would a tissue dispenser, and you are presented with a baguette lengthed slice of ham. To avoid disappointment, a "running out" slip is inserted 40cm from the end of the roll. Available at all reputable supermarkets now.

NB For those who prefer square sandwiches, the more traditional 12cm x 12cm is also available on rolls of 1.20m, 2.40 & 4.80m.

jtp, Oct 23 2006

Prior Art in the Bacon Roll 100_20Foot_20Rolls_20of_20Bacon
[ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 24 2006]

Technology has caught up to make this a reality! Continuous_20Cheese_20Slicer
[jhomrighaus, Oct 05 2007]

[link]






       Your metric ways frighten and confuse me...
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Oct 23 2006
  

       They can be supplied in non-metric lengths for the Imperial classes.
jtp, Oct 23 2006
  

       I don't eat ham if it comes in 12X12 cm squares. Off the bone or nothing, thanks!   

       Find me a pig with a columnar ass and I'll go for it. Processed meat scares me.
Custardguts, Oct 24 2006
  

       //Find me a pig with a columnar ass and I'll go for it//   

       You didn't by any chance attend Gatton Agricultural College in the late 70's did you [Custardguts]?
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 24 2006
  

       Ham in the design of paper towels? It's perforated? And I eat it?   

       Sounds good. [+]
shapu, Oct 24 2006
  

       why must we perforate all our food.
Chefboyrbored, Oct 24 2006
  

       [jtp], I know you would slurp it right off the roll.
bungston, Oct 24 2006
  

       Sorry to be the thus far lone boner. I bone processed "meats" on principle. This should be called Semi Processed hAM on a roll, or something.   

       Ah Gatton. I remember the days [sigh]. There I was, boning processed meats all day long, till security caught me.
BunsenHoneydew, Oct 24 2006
  

       I wondered why they called it "head cheese".
bungston, Oct 25 2006
  

       [BrauBeaton] - Excellent idea. I'll get the boys in R&D to look into it.
jtp, Oct 25 2006
  

       This is not to be confused with toilet paper! If the two were switched, your sandwich would be very dry, and lets not mention the other part.
DesertFox, Oct 25 2006
  

       I can see the advertising now, using the Andrex puppy.   

       "Can I have a ham roll please" "There you are sir" "No, a roll o' ham" "ok, here you go" "Thats better, now I'd like a bread roll please"
marklar, Oct 26 2006
  

       Just put the desired amount of ham in a blender, puree, add some honey for flavor, and spread on your sandwich. SPRAM = spreadable ham.
MoreCowbell, Oct 27 2006
  

       //never understood why poor old ham gets so vigorously processed//

It's called 'added value'; for the producer, not the consumer.
angel, Oct 27 2006
  

       Processing worries me as well, but I'll bun this only because it inspired this:   

       //Find me a pig with a columnar ass and I'll go for it//   

       Got to be one of the better quotes on HB.
James Newton, Oct 27 2006
  

       + for the quote. I wish the HB would allow buns/bones for individual annos.   

       When it comes down to sandwiches I prefer ({)}.
MoreCowbell, Oct 27 2006
  

       As a child, I always wondered why ham came in the limitative square version. ++
Pericles, Oct 28 2006
  

       You should be able to do something like this without really processing the meat. Simply start with the complete ham, and have a machine that cuts of a strip of a given width, all the way down to the bone. You would have a limited overall length, but assuming a fairly fine slice it wouldn't be that short. (You would also need a take up roller to re-roll the meat once its cut)
MechE, Oct 05 2007
  

       //risking uneven ham thickness// that would be dicey
evilpenguin, Oct 05 2007
  
      
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