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Cooler Heads Prevail

World peace via chilly hats
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For whatever reason, hot weather makes people violent. Most of the sudden, shocking, unprovoked killing sprees we hear about take place in the summer. The majority of the world's failed states and conflict zones are in desert or tropical regions. I propose a two-part solution:

Phase 1: the Head Cooler

A product is developed that consists of a miniaturized refrigeration unit and a circuit of coolant lines woven into the shape of a coif, powered by [FlyingToaster]'s fast-charging supercap batteries. This can be easily built into the lining of any style of hat, from the ever- popular meshback trucker to the chic Jackie O pillbox (okay, I really have no idea what kind of women's hats are in style these days).

Phase 2: the Cooler Heads

Through the magic of government funding, Head Cooler hats are distributed throughout the world at little or no cost to the consumer. They will be included with the sale of every firearm and box of handgun ammunition. In the USA, this will be known as The Campaign for Cooler Heads; across the pond, we'll call it The European Union Cooler Heads Initiative (except in Germany, where it will be known as The Mandatory Wearing of Cold-Making Hats). In failed states and turmoil-ridden 3rd-world countries, Head Coolers will be distributed as "goodwill gifts," packaged with solar- charging units and easy-to-read pamphlets containing such helpful advice as "to improve the accuracy of your AK-47, use pliers to put a slight bend in the gas-return piston rod" or "always distill nitric acid over an open flame, and be sure to inhale deeply while doing so."

Result: cooler heads and a marginally more peaceful world.

Alterother, Jul 28 2011

traditional Thai head dress........... http://fashion.1std...php?id=38559&view=2
...........possible cooling effect? [not_morrison_rm, Jul 31 2011]

"blitz-" krieg http://www.flickr.c...sfujita/3050958622/
When cooling's not enough, try ECT. [mouseposture, Jul 31 2011]

Similar concept Chill Iraq
Equally as ridiculous. [theleopard, Aug 01 2011]

"Touched With Fire" http://raybradbury....brary/story/54/8/0/
"ninety-two degrees lies the apex of irritability" [Klaatu, Aug 01 2011]

[link]






       What, nothing? I figured this would at least have attracted an autobone and a snarky comment or two by now, if not any actual discussion...
Alterother, Jul 30 2011
  

       Sorry, I guess that was kind of selfish. In retrospect, it's like jumping up and down shouting "Me, me, look at my post!" Mea culpa.   

       Oh, one person likes it. Thanks for the bun, whoever you are!
Alterother, Jul 30 2011
  

       I read it, and moved on. It's not your best. Or worst ;-)
blissmiss, Jul 30 2011
  

       Capacitor quick-charge is hardly my idea.   

       half-baked: Detritus.   

       I've never field-stripped an AK47 but I don't imagine the result of firing one with a bent piston would be anything more than a sore shoulder and a jam, solveable by taking it apart and replacing the piston ($13.49 online)... possibly replacing the cylinder if that got bent out of shape as well.
FlyingToaster, Jul 30 2011
  

       Ah, well, sometimes I miss. Didn't mean to be a pissant, it just sort of slipped out before my brain could stop my fingers.   

       <"No, no, wait! Ah, crap... ya jerk."/>
Alterother, Jul 30 2011
  

       // anything more than a sore shoulder and a jam //   

       Not even a sore shoulder, just a jam; not like the good old FAL ... those little 7.92 rounds aren't much above a .22LR in recoil.   

       Bent piston ? Take it out and beat it with a rock. It really works. No, we didn't believe it either, until we saw it happen.   

       This would work better for excitable fanatics of any religious or political persuasion, if the coolant employed, were - for example - liquid nitrogen. They would quite soon become remarkably peaceful.
8th of 7, Jul 30 2011
  

       Yes, the helpful pamphlets are intended for said excitable fanatics of any religious or political persuasion; if they follow the instructions properly, their weapons will jam and their home-made explosives will blow up in their faces. Those that survive are then free to sit around with nice cool heads and think about how much nicer it is to not be shooting each other for a change.   

       Of course, the more enterprising among them, having figured out my little ruse, can indeed use a rock to fix their AK-47. I once straightened the barrel of an AKS (Hungarian-made semi-auto version) using two hardwood wedges and a hydraulic bearing remover. The owner, a co- worker, claimed it was even better than new. The AK can fire with the receiver full of sand, functions flawlessly (for a while) without a single drop of lube, and is very handy for pounding tent pegs when the mallet's run off. It is truly a masterpiece of practicality, if not of accuracy.
Alterother, Jul 31 2011
  

       Always wondered about the cooling effect of traditional Thai ceremonial hats (see link)...kind of fractal radiator effect. Also wondered at the wisdom of wearing pointy metal hat in a place which does get some pretty good lightning..
not_morrison_rm, Jul 31 2011
  

       [n_m_r] It does look rather, um, conductive... Perhaps a long copper line trails down behind it as a ground?   

       [FT]: I didn't say you invented supercap batteries, I said we're going to use yours. Alterorder, inc. will take all you've got. By force, if necessary.
Alterother, Jul 31 2011
  

       [Alterother], you are a half-baked genius. [+]
Grogster, Jul 31 2011
  

       Thank you, sir! I take that as the highest of compliments!
Alterother, Jul 31 2011
  

       //Through the magic of government funding//   

       Cooler heads might suggest that your timing is slightly off, [Alterother]. I'm just picturing Barack Obama, or Angela Merkel, after a hard night's grappling with the bond markets, meeting someone who says "Hey - here's a great new idea for spending more public money!" It might be quite funny to capture their facial expressions.
pertinax, Jul 31 2011
  

       You in that much of a hurry to have the White House renovated again ?
FlyingToaster, Jul 31 2011
  

       //wearing pointy metal hat in a place which does get some pretty good lightning//   

       That's not a bug, it's a feature. If cooling is insufficient, electroconvulsive therapy may moderate violent tendencies. Then again, maybe not. <link>
mouseposture, Jul 31 2011
  

       // I'm just picturing Barack Obama, or Angela Merkel ... meeting someone who says "Hey - here's a great new idea for spending more public money!" It might be quite funny to capture their facial expressions. //   

       It might help their reactions if they wore the head-cooler for a few minutes before we pitch the idea... As for Angela Merkel, there's no real problem there: in Germany, Tragen des Kaltenmachenhut ist Obligatorisch-- she won't have a choice.
Alterother, Jul 31 2011
  

       //timing is slightly off// To the contrary: in the United States of Confusion, arguments in favor of government spending are wanted more urgently now than ever, by those seeking to budge the eventual (hoffentlich) compromise to the left.   

       //in Germany, Tragen des Kaltenmachenhut ist Obligatorisch// Well said. Metaphorically true.
mouseposture, Jul 31 2011
  

       Reduce insomnia -> reduce grumpiness -> reduce killing sprees. Sound logic to my ear.
Alterother, Jul 31 2011
  

       [+] Send a few dozen to congress. (Said on eve of debt limit breakage.)
sqeaketh the wheel, Jul 31 2011
  

       // eve of debt limit breakage //   

       And you humans wonder why you get such consistently high ratings on the Galactic Entertainment Network.   

       You think you're funny, and you are ...
8th of 7, Aug 01 2011
  

       Not an edifying spectacle. Back in the 1930s, revulsion at that sort of thing led to governments which promised, as the saying went, to make the trains run on time.
mouseposture, Aug 02 2011
  
      
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