Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Coral Rescue Tourism

Pay to save the earth
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A professional has checked the small paddleboat's supply of a special chemical blend of everything a growing coral needs, and has presented the couple a map of which coral regions should be paddled over.

As the paddleboat reaches the correct area, the paddleboat goes into mixing mode, gently sucking up a little seawater, blending it with the "fertilizer", using gauges to control the PH, chilling it with peltier-effect coolers to an optimal temperature, and then expelling it out the back. A small boiler, the heat sink for the peltier-effect coolers, eventually begins to steam, lifting the excess, bleaching heat away from the seas. When the chemical load is exhausted, the couple paddles back to the dock, with warm fuzzy feelings.

Madai, Dec 14 2004

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       The intention behind this idea is very nice. I'm giving it a bun, althought I don't know how much this idea is like feeding wild animals, making them dependant on humans and, therefore, harming them more than we help them.
Pericles, Dec 14 2004
  

       it'd be closer to watering wild plants than feeding wild animals.
Madai, Dec 14 2004
  

       The chances that you can actually cool seawater with a human powered paddle boat are slim. You would have more luck by blanketing of a part with reflective foil to reduce incoming heat from the sun. Global warming is not a problem you can solve easily, unfortunately. Or it would be to outlaw cars and airconditioning.   

       Make your gouvernment ratify the Kyoto treatment instead, that is more usefull.
nietsch, Dec 14 2004
  

       What coral reefs need is to be left alone, mainly.
RayfordSteele, Dec 15 2004
  

       Agree. Eliminate the human footprint on reefs, divert shipping away from reefs, and research the real reasons for coral death in an effort to save them. BTW -- the Kyoto thing: first establish standards for water runoff into seas and estuaries and have polluters abide by protocols and remedies for that land to water pollution before ground to air pollution is scrutinized.
reensure, Dec 15 2004
  

       //What coral reefs need is to be left alone, mainly// Exactimundo [RF] and [reensure]. The biggest problem they face, world wide, is 'chemical enhancement' of their environment through increased runoff from agricultural land and logging activities. Coral polyps are very efficient little predators and can look after themselves quite nicely, thank you, in very, very 'pure' water. Their zooplankton diet is supplemented by their symbiotic zooxanthellae, which look after themselves, and their hosts, quite nicely, thank you, in a diet of filtered sunlight.   

       I know some coral researchers who would cut your throat for suggesting such a fertilizing scheme.
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 15 2004
  

       Very rough crowd, those coral researchers. I once had one break my index finger when he saw I had a driftwood and bleached coral piece of artwork.   

       Better listen to [Consul], [Madai].
Ichthus, Dec 15 2004
  

       //it'd be closer to watering wild plants than feeding wild animals.//   

       Coral polyps ARE wild animals, not plants.
Pericles, Dec 19 2004
  

       I hope that if it were this easy, we'd be doing it now.
neilp, Dec 19 2004
  

       Actually, we ARE, sort of. We make artifical reefs all the time. We don't give the coral EVERYTHING they need, but we do make a nice substrate for them to form on. Quite effective really.   

       Oh and in other news, I'm still alive. I don't think I've posted here for a year or two.
Madcat, Dec 19 2004
  

       //Coral polyps ARE wild animals, not plants.//   

       True, but they are stationary, and cannot modify their behavior to a point of human dependancy. I maintain that any action taken towards coral would be closer to watering a tree than feeding a bear.   

       The Kyoto protocol is useless.   

       And while leaving the oceans alone is a noble idea, I don't think people are willing to do so. People want to go diving near some coral reefs, fish near others. Many countries eat a lot of seafood.
Madai, Feb 18 2005
  
      
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