h a l f b a k e r yIdea vs. Ego
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This is a service that you can purchase before you die.
Your body is rigged discreetly to perform requested movements while you lay in wake.
For example your arm movements could be remotely controlled, and your corpse could be caused to smack specific individuals when they approach your body.
(The
individuals would have to be named and identified prior to your death.)
You might request that your corpse be automated to hug anyone that approaches.
You might request that your body sit up and your head revolve 360 degrees when prayers are said.
Computer controlled or remotely controlled by an individual who has been give a specific performance directive.
How it would work:
Well it could be mechanical servos and motors etc.. or it could be as simple as electrode stimulation of nerves or something similar but I don't know too much about that.
Chapman Baxter?
http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/The_Day_Today
comedy executions [BunsenHoneydew, Sep 01 2009]
Chapman Baxter clip
http://www.youtube....watch?v=a7zDebveHeM
<louis armstrong>Justice</louis armstrong> [calum, Sep 01 2009]
[link]
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Yes please. I'll take one. |
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Can the lips be animatized too, with a hidden speaker? If
possible, I'd like to accompany myself on the piano,
concluding with a cheery rendition of "Goodbye" a la Dudley
Moore. |
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I'll take the discount deal. When the implanted temperature sensor is triggered at the crematorium, my voice shouts "Hey! It's getting REALLY hot in here!". |
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By the way, this needs a proper category. |
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"I TOLD you I was ill..." |
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I want my corpse to up and do the "Thriller" dance. Bun! |
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Yep. I have had staff members who should have been issued one of these on their first day at work. |
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This is down right hysterical. I love it. Oh the
implications...I can see it now...
{{{{you rotten son of
a bitch, I'm not even cold yet and you're already
cheating on me, chortle chortle}}}} |
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Did someone say a proper category??? What, like
moving dead person? |
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Just so we're clear, I voted *for* this. |
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Ooh, lid control and motion tracking eye movement for me please. |
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I want lip movement, with a recording playing of a Wiccan
speaking in tongues. |
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I seem to recall that convicted multiple murderer Chapman Baxter was executed by the mechanically reanimated corpse of one of his victims. |
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"The Throwback" by Tom Sharpe. |
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"I'll....be.... back....." |
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Even with the most sophisticated nerve stimulation, a 360 of the head might be tricky. Otherwise [+] |
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Won't rigor mortis make all of this a little difficult? |
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yes Rigor is a problem and so would be a fully connected neck in certain circumstances. |
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Rigor mortis is a temporary condition. It sets in and builds to full rigor in the first twelve hours. |
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It comes about because of a change in the distribution of calcium ions in the muscle cells, thereby messing up the normal cellular activity of a couple of proteins that are needed to allow muscles to relax and contract. |
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The result is permanent muscular contraction that only ceases after decomposition begins to break down the muscle tissues. |
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It rarely lasts more than about 60 hours from onset, so it should have completely dissipated by the end of the third day. |
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How long are bodies normally kept in the mortuary or on show, prior to burial? It's rarely more than 72 hours maximum between death and burial in this country, and open coffins are very rare here. |
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// open coffins are very rare here // |
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Yes, but that's just the old "paper bag" problem, shirley ? If they weren't all so ugly, you wouldn't have to keep the lids closed........ |
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The showing is usually the day / evening before the funeral service and burial. I would say that out of the ones I've attended, almost all were open-casket, save for the occasional cremation. I only remember one closed-casket because the remains weren't worth looking at after the accident. |
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"What's it take for a guy to get a little shut-eye around here?
Shut the damn door!" |
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//If they weren't all so ugly, you wouldn't have to keep the lids closed// |
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That's true. I've no doubt we lack the rosy cheeks and soft, pallid flesh of your contemporaries, [8/7]. |
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Don't forget the pointed ears. |
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/This is a service that you can purchase before you die./ |
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Why can't I purchase it after I die? |
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gonna go through all that trouble why not just pay to have yourself retrofitted and shamble around town for awhile ? |
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