Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Crowdsourced Polishing Service

Is crowdsourcing still a buzzword?
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
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This is a service for people who have items that require that they be polished with an indefinite time constraint.

There are several treatments available. With most generic treatment, the item is placed in a conspicuous place - the center of a square, the base of a statue, the entrance to a university building. Rumors are spread to tourists that "the locals believe that thing gives good luck when you rub it - bonus luck if you apply a little bit of wax or use a chamois".

For the finest shine, the item is placed in a cavern and tourists are informed that it is a natural treasure of immense age and rarity. They are warned not to touch it or it will be ruined forever.

determinism89, Oct 19 2018

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       You seem to have a depressingly realistic view of human nature ...
8th of 7, Oct 19 2018
  

       This doesn’t really require clownsourcing to achieve the outcome. The object to be smoothed could be placed into rush hour in the crux of a city’s most congested underground line, on a handrail which goes from floor to ceiling of a busy train on a very busy route.   

       During the busiest times there’ll always be some thoughtless lazy cunt who thinks that a handrail which is designed to easily allow about five or more people to simultaneously hold on and achieve a purchase (p&p extra) is perfectly fine as a leaning post for that one particular arrogant useless twat. The rubbing of that thoughtless bastard usually increases proportionally to the realisation that they’re being an arsehole, as if to bed themselves in. This occurrence is fairly predictable and regular, so that after a fairly short interval of time, the object will be polished adequately – by bastards who should fucking go home and go back to bed if they’re that tired.
Ian Tindale, Oct 21 2018
  

       Thanks [IT] for the commentary on mob rule, I think it serves to illustrate something.   

       [-] Spotty at best and not anything that could be done with a 100W polisher for 10 minutes.
bigsleep, Oct 22 2018
  
      
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