Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cupreous Integument

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Winter, bleak and static, hangs its ugly weight upon the air. I take refuge behind a small mountain of collar and scarves. My hair, in dead-fright, stands on end, electrified, intense. My mittens, a creamy froth of electric distress. My scarf fringe gropes a nearby wool coat.

I hear a plaintive whir and turn my eyes to a shadow in the street. A figure, tall and stately, approaches in the scanty light. I make out, indistinctly at first, a diadem of metal wreaths, wrapping their refulgent coils around each braid of this glittering nymph. Exiguous threads trail like copper freckles down her face and neck. This lustrous overlay seemingly obnubilates her body and converges at her heels. A slender cable in her shoe animates the dial whose mellifluous voice first drew my notice. A small wheel marks each watt rushing to the pavement through the tic-tac hobs of copper that give a “clack” to each static-free stride.

If only I could touch her arm, I think, as my hair spines into the wind. I breathe a frosty static sigh.



[editor’s note: We regret to announce that the author of this piece, after purchase of the Cupreous Integument, failed to notice the “Do not wear in thunderstorms” warning inscribed on the soles of her shoes. Her untimely departure will be dearly departed with.]

k_sra, Feb 03 2004

Did she look like this? http://home.in.tum....ters/metropolis.jpg
[AO, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

A bit more like this... http://www.everythi...ungle_body_suit.jpg
[k_sra, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

A lighter alternative http://www.halfbake...idea/Copper_20Patch
Not so likely to get you zapped in a thunderstorm, either. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

[link]






       I'd like to see packaging for dryer sheets adorned with such beautiful words.
Letsbuildafort, Feb 03 2004
  

       Funnily enough, I was thinking about this only yesterday after being zapped by the coffee room door handle one too many times (curse that synthetic carpet). I too wondered if those anti-static-car-sickness thingies could be attached to the heels of ones boots (although my thoughts were not nearly as poetic as yours, my love).   

       Trouble is, weren't those things proved to be of no help whatsoever?
squeak, Feb 03 2004
  

       Good, I've learned six new words today.
FarmerJohn, Feb 03 2004
  

       Set the Thesaurus down and back away slowly...
phoenix, Feb 03 2004
  

       Think I over-did it? I get language happy sometimes. Sweet, sweet language...
k_sra, Feb 03 2004
  

       EVERYBODY QUICKLY GET YOUR OBNOXIOUSLY LARGE, PEDANT CRANIUMS DOWN THIS IS THE BOISTEROUS ADJECTIVE POLICE!
Letsbuildafort, Feb 03 2004
  

       I thought this was a superhero, anti-static girl   

       whatever! those supermarket trolleys bite me all the time.
po, Feb 03 2004
  

       //obnubilates// ... magnificent. I shall write it into my grant proposal immediately.   

       <slight aside> a certain geologist and I once spend three days in Las Vegas (we were being ironic) playing static shock tig. All the carpets are hideously synthetic and there are lots of metal railings and such like for earthing. Happy memories... <sa>
hazel, Feb 03 2004
  

       Calamitous concept.
lintkeeper2, Feb 03 2004
  

       Obnubilates: Word'o'the week. Try saying it five times fast.   

       A few beach visits should give her an excellent green patina.
bungston, Feb 03 2004
  

       I shudder to think how many times I've used 'cuprous' when I meant 'cupreous.' How embarassing. Thanks for the incentive to clear up my misunderstanding.
oxen crossing, Feb 03 2004
  

       A plausible excuse for me to wear my aluminum foil helmet?
RayfordSteele, Feb 03 2004
  

       Beautiful, K. But remember - a dictionary's for life, not just for Christmas.   

       I too will be adding "obnubilates" to my everyday vocabulary. Even though I have no idea what it means. Which is good, because it means I can use it whenever I want. " You exiguous mother-obnubulator" springs to mind, for some reason.   

       Sounds like it's to do with an otherwise nubile form being obscured by something. Or perhaps it's just an obscure offshoot of Pilates.
lostdog, Feb 03 2004
  

       6.9 on the Flesch-Kincaid scale.
waugsqueke, Feb 03 2004
  
      
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